Truck On Fire Comic Strips - Page 23

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242 Results for Truck On Fire

View 221 - 230 results for truck on fire comic strips. Discover the best "Truck On Fire" comics from Dilbert.com.

Contacting The Alien Probe

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Contacting The Alien Probe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aliens, #communication, #earth, #space, #technology

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Dilbert: We're ready to fire up our laser communication technology to contact the alien probe heading to Earth. Boss: Is the alien probe unmanned? Dilbert: It is now.

Firing Ted

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Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #panic, #suspicious

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Boss: Ted, come to my office at five o'clock. Ted: Gaaa!!! That's what you say when you plan to fire people! Boss: Don't be ridiculous. Also, bring your keys.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bugs, #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #quit, #system

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ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.

Saving Babies

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Saving Babies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #reputation, #fire

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dilbert: I have been cleared of all allegations against me, but where do i go to get my reputation back? dogbert: i recommend running into a burning building to save a baby. dilbert: what if no buildings are on fire? dogbert: have you heard of matches?

Layoff Package

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Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

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dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

Half Are Doing All The Work

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Half Are Doing All The Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #employment, #fire, #work

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boss: according to experts, about half of all employees are typically doing 100% of the work. i plan to beat the system by firing half of you. dilbert: wouldn't you need to keep firing half of whoever was left until you were down to one employee? boss: yes, but imagine how hard he will work.

Can't Succeed Within The Rules

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Can't Succeed Within The Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #rules, #success

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dilbert: if i follow all of our internal rules, my project will fail because of delays. and if i don't follow the rules, you will fire me. what should i do? boss: i like the option where the project is a success but you're a failure.

Toxic Employee Was Right

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Toxic Employee Was Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #fire, #managers & supervisors

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boss: does anyone have any suggestions for improving our company culture? dilbert: for starters, you could fire the toxic employee you hired for no good reason. boss whispers to toxic employee: you were right about dilbert being a hater. toxic employee: you should hear what he says about you.

Nervous About Presentation

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Nervous About Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #managers & supervisors, #nervous, #office workers, #presentation

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Dilbert: I'm nervous about the presentation I have to give to the board. Do you have any advice? Boss: Don't blow it, or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: I heard it's good to imagine the audience naked. Boss: Report yourself to H.R.

Inefficiency

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Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #inefficient, #process, #obsolete, #market, #technology, #multidisciplinary, #systems, #fight, #fire

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alice: our internal processes are so inefficient that we can't get products to market before they are obsolete. boss: i'll create a multidisciplinary task force to look into it. alice: you want to use an inefficient system to fix an inefficient system? boss: it's called fighting fire with fire.