1992 Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appearance, refrigerator, people, Dogbert, traveled, miracle, peanut butter, saint ted, jar, elvis, jello, king

View Transcript

Transcript

A newsreporter stands on the lawn in front of Dilbert's house. She says, "People have traveled from all over to see the miracle of the peanut butter." Behind the reporter, people with outstretched arms walk toward the house. Dogbert stands on top of the refrigerator collecting money. Dogbert says, "Step right up . . . Just ten bucks to see the face of Saint Ted appearing in my jar of peanut butter." A man opens the fridge and says, "Ooh! And I see Elvis in the Jello!" Another man says, "Only the King moves like that!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, the boss, hire, consultant, cognitive, dissonance, employee, morale, absurd, situation, work, minds, comfortable, illusion, strange, dead end, job, love, mediocre, freely

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Why should I hire you as my consultant?" Dogbert replies, "I'll use my special process of cognitive dissonance to improve employee morale." The Boss asks, "How does it work?" Dogbert explains, "When people are in an absurd situation, their minds rationalize it by inventing a comfortable illusion." The Boss says, "Okay, go do it." Dogbert asks an employee, "Isn't it strange that you have this dead end job when you're twice as smart as your boss?" Dogbert continues, "The hours are long, the pay is mediocre, nobody respects your contributions, and yet you freely choose to work here." The man looks upset. The man says, "It's absurd! No, wait . . . There must be a reason . . . I must work here because I LOVE the work." The man sits at his desk humming and thinking, "I love this job." Dogbert says, "Next!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, sarcasm, Dilbert, warrior, battle, memos, meetings, image, eternity, life, pathetic, help

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his necktie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dogbert says, "The mighty warrior prepares for battle . . ." Dogbert continues, "Today, bold memos will be written, dangerous meetings will be attended, and many a photocopied image will be captured for eternity." Dilbert says, "If it weren't for sarcasm, my life would sound pathetic." Dogbert replies, "Glad to help."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, ginger, date, puppetitis, rare, disorder, puppet, weird

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I haven't dated much since I came down with puppetitis." The woman continues, "It's a rare disorder that makes your hand act like a puppet." Dilbert replies, "That's weird." The woman moves her hand like a puppet and says, "He hates us! We must kill him!" The woman says to her hand, "Not yet, Ginger!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, nineties, puppet, puppetitis, date, disease, join, hand

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I caught the disease puppetitis from somebody I dated." The woman moves her hand like a puppet and says, "Ha ha! That's right! Now her hand is a puppet!" Dilbert thinks, "I hate the nineties." The woman's puppet hand says, "Join us . . . Don't be afraid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, fiasco, rare, disease, puppetitis, hand, puppet, catch

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My date was a fiasco." Dilbert continues, "She has a rare disease called puppetitis - it makes your hand act like a puppet." Dilbert continues, "Apparently you can catch it by holding hands." Dilbert moves his hand like a puppet and says, "But it was worth it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, electric, cattle prod, employee, productivity, zap, rubber end

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss approaches him thinking, "Let's see if my idea of using an electric cattle prod will boost employee productivity." The Boss gives himself an electric shock. The Boss's clothes are burned and smoke rises from his body. The Boss thinks, "Mental note: hold rubber end."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, intelligent, creature, room, planet, smarter, people, hobby, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Don't think of yourself as the least intelligent creature in this room . . ." Dogbert continues, "If you consider the entire planet, you're smarter than literally hundreds of people." Dilbert asks, "Have you ever considered taking up a hobby?" Dogbert replies, "This IS my hobby."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, practicing, good, happens, arms, distinctive, rating, motion, dinstinctive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow listening to a radio. He hears Dilbert shout, "Yes!" Dogbert asks, "What happened?" Dilbert replies, "Nothing. I'm just practicing in case something good ever happens to me." Dilbert explains, "I'll yell 'Yes!' and pump my arms in a distinctive way." Dilbert continues, "Now I'm working on incorporating this spinning motion." Dilbert spins around and shouts, "Yes!!" Dilbert falls out the window. Dilbert lies face down in the grass. Dogbert stands over him and says, "It looks like you've got the 'distinctive' part down." Dilbert says, "Yes!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, security guard, entire, mind, transport, magic, wonder, creativity, balsa wood, tastes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches the security guard in the lobby and thinks, "It must be great to be a security guard." Dilbert walks by the security guard and thinks, "You have the entire day to let your mind transport you to magic realms of wonder and creativity." The security guard thinks, "I wonder what balsa wood tastes like."