2020 Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Any Questions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Any Questions  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, company, conclusion, end, face masks, managers & supervisors, meeting, question, vision

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: okay, that's all for today unless anyone has a question. alice, boss & dilbert thinking: please let it end. please let it end. please let it end. co-worker: what's the company vision? unison: GAAA!!!

Vendor With No Facemask

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Vendor With No Facemask  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags covering, face, face mask, managers & supervisors, plastic, required, suffocated, vendor

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: can you believe a vendor tried to come in here with no face mask? i told him it didn't matter what kind of face covering he used, it only mattered that he had one. this is where my tale takes a dark turn. now peeved, the vendor stormed back to his car, where he had a bagged lunch. he angrily removed the plastic wrap from his sandwich and wrapped it around his head to serve as his face mask. he suffocated in minutes obviously. dilbert: is that the sandwich? boss: would have gone to waste.

Meeting Ending Invention

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meeting Ending Invention    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, invent, app, application, ring, phone, meeting, strategic, direction, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented an app that makes your phone ring to get you out of meetings. boss: how does that fit our strategic direction? dilbert's phone: bing, bing, bing! dilbert walking away: i need to take this call.

Wally Must Say Something

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Must Say Something   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, technology, meeting, attention, confused, face mask, follow-up, questions, project, employee, engagement, business

View Transcript

Transcript

wally thinking: i need to say something to show i'm paying attention. wally: i'm concerned that the project could reduce employee engagement. boss: what does that even mean? wally thinking: i wasn't expecting follow-up questions.

Helpful Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helpful Advice   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, technology, Advice, personal, life, quality, work

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: can i give you some helpful advice? dilbert: judging by the quality of your life, i'd say you probably can't. co-worker: leave my personal life out of it. dilbert: okay, let's talk about the putrid quality of your work.

Edits Without Tracking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Edits Without Tracking  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accident, business, complex, delete, document, edit, email, face mask, forgot, technology, tracker

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i edited your incredibly complex document and sent it to you by email. dilbert: i don't see your high-lighted changes. co-worker: i forgot to turn on the edit tracker. dilbert: i'm going to accidentally delete your email. co-worker: that's probably how i'd play it too.

Can't Let It Go

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Can't Let It Go  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, face mask, let it go, office workers, software, technology, test

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i thought you said we would be testing the software by today. dilbert: nope. i never said anything remotely like that. co-worker: i can't let this go. dilbert: i didn't think you could.

Ted Needed To Know

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
  Ted Needed To Know - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, technology, business, email, forward, malice, slander, private, know, face maks

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i forwarded your email to ted. Dilbert shaken: WHAT!!! i said bad things about ted! that was a private email to you! alice: he needed to know. dilbert yelling: he did not need to know!

Humans Making Decisions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Humans Making Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags biases, business, data, decision, guessing, human nature, making, primitive, psychology, reason, sarcasm, superstitions, technology, science

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.

It Is A Burden To Know You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
It Is A Burden To Know You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, technology, video, assignment, homework, helpful, enemies

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: did you watch the video i sent? dilbert: it's a burden to know you because you keep assigning me homework. co-worker: i'm trying to be helpful. dilbert: can you help my enemies instead?