Family Friendly Policy Comic Strips - Page 23

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275 Results for Family Friendly Policy

View 221 - 230 results for family friendly policy comic strips. Discover the best "Family Friendly Policy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #policy, #employ best, #technical professionals, #industry average, #bright, #clueless, #feel sorry

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our policy is to employ only the BEST technical professionals." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." Dilbert asks, "Isn't it also our policy to base salaries on the 'industry AVERAGE?'" The Boss answers, "Right. We like them bright but clueless." Wally says, "I feel sorry for people like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #sex after marriage, #depraved practice, #liberals, #headaches, #fatigue, #become consultants, #extinction of mankind, #right winger

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Dogbert sits in a radio DJ booth wearing headphones and speaking into a microphone. He says, "Today we're talking about sex after marriage. Many liberals support this depraved practice but I do not." Dogbert continues, "It can lead to headaches, fatigue and unwanted family members who become consultants." A caller asks, "Wouldn't your philosophy lead to the extinction of mankind?" Dogbert replies, "Cry me a river, Liberal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 1995's comic on:


Tags #shipped million keyborads, #free upgardes, #royal family

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The Boss, Dilbert and a male employee sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, so we shipped a million keyboards that don't have the letter 'Q.' What do we do?" The man says, "We could offer free upgrades to users who can prove they need a 'Q.'" The Boss asks, "How many users need a 'Q?'" The man answers, "Well . . . there's the royal family . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #most user freindly, #computer, #pre insatlled, #software, #one button, #leaves factory, #over my head, #tech support number, #technology, #engineering

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Dilbert is in a computer retail store. The salesman points to a computer and explains, ". . . but by far, this computer is our most user-friendly." The salesman continues, "The pre-installed software has only one button. And we press it before it leaves the factory." Dilbert asks, "What does it do?" The salesman waves his hands and says, "Whoa! I'm in over my head. Let me give you their tech support number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ignorance, #no limits, #idiotic, #opinions, #personal hygiene, #cyberspace, #flame boy, #step inside

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Dilbert types, "Your ignorance seems to have no limit. Your opinions are idiotic." Dilbert continues typing, "Your personal hygiene leaves much to be desired. Your family is ugly." He enters, "Send e-mail." Peering over the cubicle wall, Wally says to Dilbert, "You're mighty brave in cyberspace, Flame-boy." Dilbert replies, "Step inside."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 1995's comic on:


Tags #united charity, #least valuable member, #honesty, #best plocy

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The Boss stands with his arm on Wally's shoulder. The Boss says, "Congratulations, Wally. I've selected you to head up our campaign for 'United Charity.'" The Boss says, "I chose you not only because you're the least valuable member of our group, but also because you're so darn pitiful." Wally looks distraught and clutches his tie. The Boss walks away thinking, "Honesty is the best policy unless it's being done to you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #speech, #have and have nots, #dumb ones, #cavemans, #unevolved

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Dogbert the futurist Dogebert: Society will become divided into technology "haves" and "have nots" Eventually the two groups will take different evolutionary paths. Then, as now, the "have nots" will be policy makers. Caveman: Oog mission statement

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #pyramid scam, #marketing breakthrough, #new recruit, #amazingly wealthy, #being your own boss, #one thousand dollars, #the world pays, #money, #scam

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"Remember, it's not a pyramid scam, it's a marketing breakthrough!" "The beauty of it is a new recruit is born every minute." "Are we guaranteed to become amazingly wealthy?" "While being our own boss?" "Yes, unless you're lazy or ethical." "Each person you recruit pays you one thousand dollars. The recruits get their own recruits and charge them TWO thousand, and so on." "Eventually, every person on Earth will be giving you money. And that adds up." "You can't argue with the math." "I feel like we're a big family." "The best part is that every person on Earth will get rich!" "Actually, the last recruit kinda gets it in the shorts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #barbarian, #binder family, #loyal subjects, #mister computer, #spilled coffee, #stapler, #thwarted moat, #king of cubicle

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Dilbert: "I am the king of my cubicle, the absolute ruler of this tiny realm." "And these are my loyal subjects: Mister Computer, Mister Stapler, and The Binder family." "Who spilled coffee?" "The barbarian is thwarted at the moat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #boss made pass, #cat ate ring, #family in coma, #irs audit, #seek relief, #woes, #anti woe cologne

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Alice: I'm going to seek relief from my many woes by sharing them with you. My entire family is in a coma....The cat ate my wedding ring,,,,The IRS is auditing us....my boss made a pass at me. It isn't working, you aren't absorbing my woes. Dilbert: Im wearing into woe cologne.