Financial Problems Comic Strips - Page 23

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View 221 - 230 results for financial problems comic strips. Discover the best "Financial Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cause problems, dogcart consulting, one full year, smarter, ten million doallrs, work guraenteed, year 2000, y2k

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The Boss and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "When the year 2000 comes, your computers will think it's the year '00' and cause major problems." Dogbert continues, "The Dogbert Consulting Company can fix the problem for only ten million dollars. Our work is guaranteed for one full year, starting today." The Boss says, "But why would I care? The year '00' is before I'm born." Dogbert says, "Amazing . . . You'd actually have to be SMARTER to do something STUPID."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags team building, exercise, solve problems, working sundial, pencil, donut, make any differnce, health

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Dogbert says to Alice, Dilbert, the Boss and Wally, "This next exercise will challenge your ability to solve problems as a team." Dogbert says, "Build a working sundial using only a pencil and a donut." Four hours later, the Boss says with his mouth full, "One more bite isn't going to make any difference." The pencil lies next to a pile of crumbs on the table. Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags action plan, solve problems, problems, demented, expense, demented plat, lift veil, ignorance

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Dilbert and Liz sit on a park bench. Liz says, "Um . . . When I've shared my feelings with you, I wasn't hoping you'd design an action plan to solve all of my problems." Dilbert asks, "Why else would you tell me all of your problems . . . Unless it's some demented plot to make yourself feel better at my expense?" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "You were right. It was all a demented plot." Dogbert says, "I'm trying to gradually lift your veil of ignorance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags various problems, complied problems, requirements, thoughtful broken

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Dilbert and Liz hold hands. Dilbert says, "In the year that we've dated, Liz, you've often mentioned various problems in your life." Dilbert continues, "I've compiled those problems into a list of requirements and developed a comprehensive set of solutions." Liz reads the list and says angrily, "How thoughtful. I didn't even know I was broken." Dilbert says, "No, no, not broken . . . Just a bit buggy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags be my couch, dysfunctional internet connections, huge ball yarn, human resources, treatment prgrams, used as furniture, yarn therpay, ropes, business

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Dilbert sits across from Catbert's desk. Dilbert asks, "Does Human Resources offer any treatment programs for people with dysfunctional internet connections?" Catbert shows Dilbert a pamphlet and says, "I recommend the 'yarn therapy.' You'll be wrapped in a huge ball of yarn and used as furniture in my office." Dilbert reads the brochure and asks, "Is this like the famous 'Ropes' course where I learn to solve problems as part of a team?" Catbert replies, "Exactly, except here you learn to be my couch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags beta prodcut, fix problems, logically impossible, schedule, manager, not engineer

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The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "How long will it take to fix any problems we find in our beta product?" Dilbert answers, "It is logically impossible to schedule for the unknown." The Boss says, "Try to think as a manager, not as an engineer." Dilbert says, "In that case, we'll fix the problems before we find them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, financial advisor, living in dumpster, twenty years, dogcart deferred income, own a mansion?, photo of mansion

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Dogbert says to a prospective client, "Here's a picture of you living in a dumpster in twenty years." Dogbert continues, "But if you invest in the 'Dogbert Deferred Income Fund' take a look at what you could own someday!!" The client says, "I could own a mansion?!!" Dogbert says, "You could own a photograph."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, financial advisor, sticks, nuuities, capital gains, reduce income taxes, give me money, die a pauper

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A prospective client sits across from Dogbert's desk. Dogbert says, "Stocks . . . annuities . . . derivatives . . . capital gains tax . . ." Dogbert shouts, "It's all too confusing for you!! Give me all your money now or you'll die a pauper!! Now! Now!! Before interest rates fall!! As he signs a document, the client says, "Will this reduce my income taxes?" Dogbert says, "More than you might guess."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags financial advisor, invest, dogcart deferred earnings, fund, conflict of interest, client, interest

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Dilbert sits on a pillow on the floor working on his laptop. Dogbert tells him, "I'm going into business as a financial advisor." Dilbert says, "Sounds hard." Dogbert says, "It's easy. I'll tell all my clients to invest in the 'Dogbert Deferred Earnings Fund.'" Dilbert asks, "Isn't that a conflict of interest?" Dogbert replies, "Only if I show interest in the client."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dna smaple, fatal genetic problems, hurt productivity, project dealine

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The Boss holds a syringe. He says to Dilbert, "Drop your trousers and turn around. I need a DNA sample." Dilbert bends over looking angry. As draws Dilbert's blood, the Boss says, "We're scanning for any fatal genetic problems that could hurt productivity." Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters holding the test results and says, "Uh . . . we decided to move your project deadline up a week." Dilbert's hair stands up straight.