Managers Comic Strips - Page 23
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Character
596 Results for Managers
View 221 - 230 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers " comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 17,
2019
Dilbert Gets A Mentor
Tags managers & supervisors, Advice, mentor, productivity, operations, vice president, pressure, trick
Transcript
boss: i heard you asked our v.p. of operations to be your mentor. why didn't you tell me you needed some mentoring? i'm full of useful advice. dilbert: such as? boss: well... not you're putting me on the spot. it's hard to think of advice while you're pressuring me. maybe you could give me a scenario, and then i'll tell you what to do. dilbert: okay, suppose my boss is ruining my productivity by yammering about his great advice. what can i do? boss: that feels like a trick question. dilbert: our v.p. of operations could answer it.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday November 14,
2019
Attending A Funeral
Tags managers & supervisors, time off, funeral, sick, unsympathetic
Transcript
carol talking to distracted boss on cell phone: can i take the day off to attend a funeral? boss: sure. i didn't even know you were sick. carol: it's not my own funeral. boss: oh. in that case, no.
Wednesday November 13,
2019
Not Humanly Possible
Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, budget, workflow, procedure, impossible, useful
Transcript
boss: i can't approve your budget because you didn't follow the seventeen-step workflow procedure. dilbert: it is not humanly possible to follow the company workflow procedure and also accomplish anything useful. boss: would it help if i add a few steps? dilbert: yes, if you have to go back to your office to do it.
Tuesday November 12,
2019
Workflow Training
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, system, technology, training, new
Transcript
boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system
Monday November 11,
2019
The Best Way To Succeed
Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, success, delegate
Transcript
boss: the best way to succeed in this world is through hard work dilbert: is that the way you did it? boss: no, i used the second-best way dilbert: which is... boss: making other people work hard
Friday November 08,
2019
Wally Compared To A Placebo
Tags managers & supervisors, project, failure, coincidence, placebo, insult
Transcript
boss: wally, i've noticed that every project you have worked on has failed. is that a coincidence? wally: it's hard to know. unless you compare me to a placebo. boss: okay, you're worse than a placebo. wally: i thought that would take longer.
Thursday November 07,
2019
Learning What Doesn't Work
Tags managers & supervisors, project, fail, failure, business
Transcript
wally in meeting: my project failed miserably, but i think we can agree we came out ahead. for example, we learned what does not work boss: you? wally: that's one way to look at it.
Wednesday November 06,
2019
Imperfect Decisions
Tags business, managers & supervisors, project, vacation, decision, uninformed, perfect, good, stupid, smart, enemy
Transcript
boss: while you were on vacation, we made some decisions about your project. dilbert: those would be uninformed decisions if you made them without me. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of good dilbert: can i let stupid be the enemy of smart?
Monday November 04,
2019
Dark Matter And Lights
Tags business, managers & supervisors, philosophy, world, dark, matter, light
Transcript
dilbert: did you know that 85% of the matter in the world is dark matter, and we don't even know what dark matter is? boss: i know what it is dilbert: you do? boss: it's when the lights are off. - duh. dilbert: i'm going to go talk to someone else now.
Sunday November 03,
2019
Goofy Words
Tags business, managers & supervisors, proposal, understand, clarification, end, misunderstand
Transcript
dilbert: and that's my blockchain proposal. any questions? boss: there was a part i didn't understand. dilbert: which part? boss: the words dilbert: all of them? boss: only the goofy ones. such as token, smart contract, certainty as a service, utxo blockchains, node, ledger, and daps. dilbert: so... you didn't understand anything i said for the past hour? boss: don't try to turn this into my fault dilbert: you could have asked me to clarify boss: i also wanted it to end.

