Question Comic Strips - Page 23
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289 Results for Question
View 221 - 230 results for question comic strips. Discover the best "Question" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 30,
1997
Tags dogebert, systems adminitrator, evil system, private, compiled binder, off color humor, unkind references, naughty propositions, heading, sing
Transcript
Wally sits at his computer. Dogbert says, "Wally, did you know your e-mail system isn't private?" Dogbert continues while Wally looks worried. "I've compiled a binder with all your off-color humor, unkind references to co-workers, naughty propositions, and admissions to theft." Wally asks, "Where is this heading?" Dogbert replies, "I'd like you to sing that question while hopping on one foot."
Monday August 11,
1997
Tags blowing off idiots, information, web page, misunderstood
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer. Dogbert walks up and says, "I have a new method for blowing off the idiots who ask questions." Dogbert waves his tiny armsi in the air and says, "I say, 'That information ison my web page. Shoo, shoo." Dilbert asks, "What happens when they find out it isn't?" Dogbert replies, "I'll say, 'You must have misunderstood your question.'"
Sunday August 10,
1997
Tags project sparkle, desk policy, company wide effoert, tiny question, curious, top executives, competitive threat, panic, lone voice of reason, paper towles, laminated card, mission statement
Transcript
At a meeting, The Boss says, "Announcing Project 'Sparkle', the clean desk policy." The Boss says, "This is a company wide effort to keep our work spaces clean." Alice says, "Tiny question. I'm curious about one thing." Alice says, "I'm picturing our top executives in the 'War Room.'" Alice waves her arms wildly and says, "They talk about the competitive threat and our lack of resources. Suddenly, panic sets in!!" Alice is wide eyed and finishes, "A lone voice of reason penetrates the confusion. Two words: Paper towels." Alice asks, "Is that pretty much how it went?" The Boss says, "Moving along. Each of you get a laminated card with our mission statement." Wally puts his arm out to restrain Alice and says, "Let me do this one." Dilbert just watches it go by. The only reason he's here is because his name is on the strip.
Monday April 21,
1997
Tags family friendly policies, higher profits, high profits, true costs, camouflage, five minute break
Transcript
A woman points at a chart and says, "My study shows that the companies with 'Family Friendly' policies have higher profits." Dilbert sits in the audience with Wally, Alice and other employees. He raises his hand and says, "Question: Do family policies cause high profits or do high profits simply camouflage the true costs of the policies?" The woman says, "We'll take a five-minute break so the married people can slap you for asking that." Dilbert says, "Ouch!"
Tuesday March 11,
1997
Tags young and inexperinced, naive question, doing email, after tax earnings, alice, stuffed body, shirt sleeve
Transcript
Asok stands behind Alice's desk and says, "I am young and inexperienced, so please excuse this naive question, Alice . . ." Asok continues, "You spend hours every day 'doing e-mail.' How does this contribute to net after-tax earnings?" Asok stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Today I learned that Alice can stuff my entire body into one shirt sleeve."
Tuesday February 18,
1997
Tags all grown up, intern, unanswerable, whiny, decison
Transcript
Asok, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I'd like to start the meeting with a whiny, unanswerable question." Asok shouts, "Why can't anyone make a decision around here?!" Alice says, "That was good." Dilbert pats Asok on the back and sniff emotionally. He says, "My little intern is all grown up."
Sunday February 16,
1997
Tags leadership seminar, manager motivates employees, 14 hour days, filthy sadist, pointy haired imbecile, leader, unpopular decions, training engineers
Transcript
Alice, Dilbert and Wally grumble as they enter a leadership seminar. The instructor asks, "What would you call a manager who motivates employees to work fourteen hours a day?" Alice answers, "A filthy sadist." Dilbert answers, "Pointy-haired imbecile." The instructor says, "Umm . . . No . . . That's not what I'm looking for." Wally says, "I think he means what do we call him to his face." Alice, Dilbert and Wally answer in unison, "Leader." The instructor says, "Right! And what do you call someone who can make unpopular decisions again and again?" Someone replies, "A filthy sadist?" Another participant says, "Wait, it might be another trick question." The instructor thinks, "I hate training engineers."
Thursday January 16,
1997
Tags answer this quiz, bill gates, towel boy, humans are primates, three monkeys, stupid trick question
Transcript
Dilbert stands in a room filled with electronic equipment. A voice coming from a monitor says, "You have been chosen as Bill Gates' towel boy. But first you must answer this quiz." The voice continues, "You're in a room with three monkeys. One has a banana, one has a stick, one has nothing. Which primate is the smartest?" Dilbert says, "Um . . ." Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert says, "I guess the successful towel boys know that humans are primates too." DIlbert says angrily, "Stupid trick question."
Saturday December 28,
1996
Tags description, taxi, cheat, running the meter, flat rate, poor language skills, efficnecy, taxi running people
Transcript
An attendant says to Dilbert, "This taxi is yours. Here's a description of how he'll cheat you." Dilbert sits in the back of the taxi cab and says, "It says you'll be running the meter despite the flat rate. Then you'll feign poor language skills when I question you." The driver looks crazy. Dilbert says, "I can't fault your efficiency, though." The driver hits a bicycle and a pedestrian.
Sunday September 22,
1996
Tags use speakerphone, voice mail, speaker phone, inconsiderate, too stupid, annoying, bob dinsoaur, wedgie, service elevator, look on face, way they yell, philiosphers
Transcript
A man sits in his cubicle thinking, "It's time to use my speakerphone to do voice mail." The man thinks, "I can't remember if I use the speakerphone because I'm inconsiderate or because I'm too stupid to know how annoying it is." The man thinks, "I'll leave that question to the philosophers." The man screams, "Hi. Thanks for the information. Talk to you later!!!" The man shouts, "Did I tell you about my cyst?" Dilbert hears the man yelling and sends an e-mail message that says, "Dogbert, send Bob the Dinosaur quickly!" Bob says to the building security officer, "I'm here to deliver a wedgie." The man replies, "Use the service elevator." Dilbert sits at his desk humming while the man next to him screams as Bob gives him a wedgie. Dilbert presses the elevator button and asks Bob, "What's the best part - the look on their faces or the way they yell?" Bob replies, "I'll leave that question to the philosophers."

