Still Reap Comic Strips - Page 23

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307 Results for Still Reap

View 221 - 230 results for still reap comic strips. Discover the best "Still Reap" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1998's comic on:


Tags #sharing hotel rooms, #business trips, #before sleep, #exercise, #room, #beds, #health

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Dilbert and Wally holding their suitcases entering their hotel room. Dilbert says, "I hate sharing a hotel room on business trips." Wally and Dilbert unpacking their suitcases on separate beds. Wally says, "I need to do my exercises before I go to sleep. Do you mind?" Wally says, "I'm still a bit winded from yesterday." Dilbert, while holding his pants, responds, "There are so many ways that this could be bad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1998's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #obsolete computer, #spirit crush, #cubicle, #safety hazrds, #look busy, #meaningful assignment, #wait, #binder, #desk

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The Boss introduces Matt to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is our newest employee, Matt." In a private fashion, The Boss says, "Would you mind ..." Dilbert finishes his sentence, "Crushing his spirit?" The Boss confirms, "Right." Dilbert shows Matt his cubicle. Dilbert says to Matt, "This little box will be your home for sixty hours a week." Dilbert and Matt enter the cubicle. Dilbert points to a binder and says, "It comes with an obsolete computer and a binder about safety hazards." Dilbert continues, "Your challenge is to look busy until someone gives you a meaningful assignment." Matt inquires, "How long will that take?" As Dilbert exits the cubicle, he comments, "I'm still waiting for mine." Matt proceeds to read the binder in front of his computer. "Safety tip 1: Don't sit near any obsolete computers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogbert curse, #sends chain letter, #die if didnt, #worlds smartest garbageman, #send chain letters

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Dilbert has been struck by the Curse of Dogbert. He has Dogbert's ears and nose. Dilbert says to the garbage man, "...And the Dogbert Curse strikes anyone who sends a chain letter. But the letter said I'd die if I didn't." Dilbert continues, "You're the world's smartest garbage man. How would you handle this?" The garbage man shoves a bag of trash into the garbage truck. Dilbert walks up to Dogbert dressed as a garbage man, but still looking like Dogbert. He says, "Did you know there's also a Garbage Man's Curse for people who send chain letters?" Swami Dogbert wears his turban and wags his tail.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #technical recomendation, #useless and weak, #decisions, #helvetica font, #wrong, #coach, #wally and boss, #desk

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Wally stick his head into The Boss's office he is holding a piece of paper. Wally says, "I finished the technical recommendation you requested." Wally gives the report to The Boss. Wally says, "At first I was miffed that you told me what recommendation you wanted." Wally explains, "It made me feel useless and weak." The Boss reads the recommendation. Wally says, "But rather than dwell on my powerlessness." Wally raises his arm, enpowered. Wally says, "I decided to find joy in the one decision that I CAN make." Wally says, "I chose a Helvetica type font. And I never looked back." The Boss says, "Oh, that's what's wrong with it." The Boss thinks, "I coach and I coach, but they still walk out of here all rubber-legged."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #skeptics association, #psychic rat, #passport, #drivers licence, #fake id, #dna test, #never been cloned

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Dilbert is talking on the telephone and says, "Is this Skeptics Association? I need your help to prove my rat isn't psychic." Dilbert holds the phone and says, "My name is Dilbert. Yes, I can prove it; I have a pssport and a driver's license. Well, yeah. It's easy to get a fake ID, but..." Hours later... Dilbert is still on the phone, his hair is a mess and he says, "...Okay, what if I take a DNA test? No, I can't prove I've never been cloned!!" He's angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #weekly, #wally status report, #process pride, #impact on earnings, #pride in results, #high level, #morale, #pride in process

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conferance table. Wally says, "It is my pleasure to present the weekly 'Wally status report'." Wally says, "This week I developed what I call 'process pride'." Wally says, "It all started when I realized that I have no impact on earnings." Wally says, "Obviously I can't take pride in the RESULTS of my work." Dilbert says, "Obviously." Wally says, "But I need pride. Otherwise, how could Imantain my high level of morale?" Wally says, "So I learned to take pride in my processes instead of my results." Wally says, "Everything I do is still pointless. But I am very proud of the way I do it." The Boss says, "Is that all you did this week?" Wally says, "Hey, I'm only one person."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #authentic baby, #week old, #explain absence, #mickey rooney

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Woman's hands holds a babay over The Boss's desk. Woman says, "This is an authentic baby, less than one week old." Woman says, "As I feed this authentic baby in fron of you, recall how big my stomach was last week." Woman says, "So, do I still need a note from my doctor to explain my absence?" The Boss says, "Yes, unless you can prove where Mickey Rooney is right now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1997's comic on:


Tags #engineering conference, #most valuable asset, #decline, #overtime, #assets decline, #fine art, #every year, #louve, #certification of depreciation, #earned your air

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The Boss is on stage behind a podium and speaks to the crowd. "The theme of this engineering conference is..." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice sit in the front row. The Boss continues, "Employees are our most valuable asset." He says, "And lik emost assets, you decline in value over time." He says, "I know what you're thinking: Not all assets decline in value." He says, "For example, fine art is worth more every year." The Boss points to an image of Wally and says, "But I don't think the Louvre will be asking for one of these anytime soon." The Boss introduces Catbert and says, "On your way our, Mister Catbert will give each one of you a certificate of depreciation." Wally says, "It's still better than last year's theme, "Have you earned your air today?" Catbert hands Dilbert his award.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1997's comic on:


Tags #petting, #break up, #roxanne, #humans, #kind, #intelligent creatures, #freaks out, #until intimate

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Roxanne, the cute girl, and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert says, "As much as I like the petting, I still have to break up with you, Roxanne." Roxanne says, "Why?" Dogbert says, "Humans are kind intelligent, well-adjusted creatures, until you get to know them." Roxanne screams, "May the horned demons of Ixpah smite you like the last six!!!" Dogbert walks away and says, "This is what I'm talking about."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1997's comic on:


Tags #good idea, #nurture passion, #rebellious employees, #sarcastic employees, #startegies, #wearing culottes

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "From now on, we'll nurture the passion of our rebellious employees and form strategies around them." Wally says, "We don't have any rebellious employees. The last one got fired for wearing culottes on casual day." The Boss says, "It was such a good idea in my head." Wally says, "We still have some sarcastic employees. Can you work with that?"