Wide Eyes Comic Strips - Page 23
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247 Results for Wide Eyes
View 221 - 230 results for wide eyes comic strips. Discover the best "Wide Eyes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 22,
1992
Tags Dogbert, doctor, patients, turbocharged, x-ray, machine, waiting, room, eyes, diagnoses, arrive, mail, stroke, genius, schedule, hypochondriacs
Transcript
Dogbert, who is holding a stethoscope, says to a room full of people, "Attention, all patients!" Dogbert continues, "I have turbocharged the x-ray machine and aimed it at the waiting room. Everybody close your eyes for five minutes then leave. Your diagnoses will arrive by mail." Dogbert walks away saying, "It was a stroke of genius to schedule all of the hypochondriacs for the same day."
Wednesday August 19,
1992
Tags Dogbert, marriage counselor, visualization, exercises, beautiful, sunset, cliff, bob, ocean
Transcript
Dogbert sits in a chair across from a man and a woman. Dogbert says, "I'd like to try some visualization exercises." Dogbert continues, "Imagine the two of you watching a beautiful sunset, you're on a cliff overlooking the ocean . . ." The man closes his eyes, holds out his arms, smiles, and thinks, "Shove." Dogbert says, "Bob, try not to get ahead of me."
Monday August 03,
1992
Tags god, language, report, Dilbert, tim, monkey, incan, awful, write, lucky, translate
Transcript
Dilbert says to Tim, "Gee, Tim, you look awful." Tim replies, "I've been working for five days without any sleep to finish this report." Tim's clothes are disheveled and he has circles under his eyes. Tim continues, "At first I had a mental block. But on the fourth day I was visited by an Incan monkey god who told me what to write." Dilbert replies, "Wow, lucky break." Tim says, "Now I just have to find somebody who can translate his simple but beautiful language."
Wednesday July 22,
1992
Tags Dilbert, future, internet & world wide web, math, news, news reporter, supercomputer, nut mines, conquer
Transcript
A newsreporter wearing a trenchcoat says into a microphone, "This man used his supercomputer to predict the future of the world." The reporter holds the microphone out and Dilbert says, "Within five years, evil squirrels will conquer the world and make us all slaves in their nut mines." The reporter says, "The squirrels should love this guy." Dilbert adds, "It's based on actual math."
Sunday April 26,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, sad, story, renowned, monkey, trainer, beautiful, discovered, kidnapped, wife, leader, sing, song, laughing, thanks
Transcript
Dogbert sits at his desk under a sign that says, "I will listen to your sad story $5.00." A man enters and says, "I have a sad story." Dogbert says, "Sit down." The man continues, "I was a world renowned monkey trainer." The man continues, "I had it all: fame, money, beautiful family." The man continues, "Then I discovered that the monkeys were plotting against me." The man continues, "They embezzled all of my money and kidnapped my wife." The man covers his eyes and says, "Then my wife fell in love with their leader, Bing-Bong." Dogbert laughs. The man asks, "Were you laughing?" Dogbert hands money to the man and says, "Here's my five bucks. Thanks."
Monday December 09,
1991
Tags dance, Dilbert, eye contact, spots, wall, awkwardly, hate, smile
Transcript
Dilbert sees someone walking down the hallway toward him. Dilbert thinks, "Now for the 'Dance of the Eye Contact.'" Dilbert turns his head and thinks, "I pretend to look at spots on the wall. If our eyes meet too soon we'll have to awkwardly smile for ten seconds." Dilbert turns his head and thinks, "Now!" The man thinks, "I hate the first smile of the day."
Saturday December 07,
1991
Tags autumn, Dogbert, night, Dilbert, eyes, moon, mystery, magic, lips, earthworms, hideous, red, sidewalk, rain, storm, home, kiss, worms
Transcript
Dilbert sits on a couch holding hands with a woman. Dilbert says, "Your eyes are like the moon on an autumn night, full of mystery and magic." Dilbert continues, "Your lips are like earthworms, painted a hideous red and caught on the sidewalk during a rainstorm." Dilbert arrives at home with bruises on his face and broken glasses. Dogbert asks, "Home early?" Dilbert replies, "At least I didn't have to kiss the worms."
Monday September 23,
1991
Tags Dogbert, rabert, ruler, earth, ignorant, masses, zombie, mode, stuck
Transcript
Dogbert stands on the edge of a cliff and yells, "I am Dogbert, the supreme ruler of earth!!" Dogbert yells, "Worship me, you ignorant masses!!" Dogbert says to Ratbert, "That was practice." Ratbert replies, "Darn, now my eyes are stuck in zombie mode . . ."
Thursday August 22,
1991
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, high-risk, investment, bonds, junk, checking, account, ethel's, savings, loan
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I lost my fortune in a high-risk investment." Dilbert asks, "Junk bonds?" Dogbert covers his eyes and says, "Checking account at 'Ethel's Savings and Loan!'"
Tuesday July 16,
1991
Tags Dilbert, ratbert, perfect, turtleneck, nervous, Dogbert, face
Transcript
Ratbert, who is wearing a sweater, asks Dogbert, "What do you think of my Chihuahua disguise?!" Dogbert replies, "It's a good start, Ratbert, but it takes more than a turtleneck to look like a Chihuahua." Ratbert opens his eyes wide and says, "How about if I make this face and act nervous?" Dogbert replies, "Perfect."

