Work Comic Strips - Page 23

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1000 Results for Work

View 221 - 230 results for work comic strips. Discover the best "Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags add code, corporate scamming, darkest day, designed new prodcut, draft apology, engineering success, make unrelaible, no upgarde, press release, ten years

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Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.

Boss The Bottleneck

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Boss The Bottleneck  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nickname, name-calling

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Boss: I wish I had a cool nickname at work. Dilbert: You do. You're known as the "Frickin' Bottleneck." Boss: Who calls me that? Dilbert; Bad people. I try to stop them.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags birthday, cake, card or goft, collect money, collection, leave work early, boss birthday

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Carol: I need to go home early today. Can you collect money for our boss's birthday gift? Carol: I wouldn't ask you don to it, but his birthday is tomorrow. Dilbert: um...okay. Carol: and could you also order a cake? You'll also need a card and a gift. Dilbert: This got a lot harder than I thought it.... Carol: Thanks! Bye! Dilbert: Tomorrow is our Boss's Birthday and I need to leave for early today, so... Alice: Nice try.

Boss Is Sane

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Boss Is Sane - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mental health, mental illness, managers, sane, insanity, logic

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Narrator: Dogbert The Mental Health Expert. Boss: Can you confirm that my employees have lost their minds? Dogbert: Yes, because they work for you. Any other questions? Boss: But I'm sane, right? Dogbert: Yes, because you hired me.

Anger Issues

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Anger Issues - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger issues, listen to crazy people, mental problems, work weekend, crazy people

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The Boss: Im worried that all of my employees might have mental problems. The Boss: They exhibited anger issues when I told them to work all weekend for no extra pay. CatBert: Did they say you're the cause off their mental problems? The Boss: I dont listen to crazy people.

Wally Pivots

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Wally Pivots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, deception, projects

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Wally: My project was failing, so I pivoted to a different idea with the same name. Later, I'll change the project name to cover my tracks. Asok: What about your sunk costs? Wally: Gone like footprints in the sands of time.

Money Can't Buy Happiness

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Money Can't Buy Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, work, motivation, meaning, money, raise, wages, excuses, psychology

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Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.

Unforseen Problems

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Unforseen Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags building apps, completion date, problems, unforseen

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Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.

Ricky Joins The Ai Project

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Ricky Joins The Ai Project  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags recommendation, artificial intelligence, lowers bar, human intelligence, artificial, honored, too nice

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Dilbert: I recommend Ricky to our artificial intelligence project. He lowers the bar on what constitutes human intelligence, so it will be easier for us to achieve the artificial kind. I would be honored to work on the project, The boss: Okay, I see what you mean.

Robot Can Take Boss's Job

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Robot Can Take Boss's Job  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, boss, work, ai, artificial intelligence, automation

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Robot: I wonder whose job I'll take first. Boss: You could never do my job. Robot: I'm doing it right now. Boss: You're not doing anything. Robot: Right. Let that sink in.