All Year Comic Strips - Page 23
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361 Results for All Year
View 221 - 230 results for all year comic strips. Discover the best "All Year" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 07,
2002
Tags #customer satisfaction, #shows improvement, #focus group, #attacked researchers, #two pencils, #premeditated
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "Our survey of customer satisfaction shows improvement." The Boss continues, "The focus group spontaneously attacked our researchers using number two pencils as shivs." Dilbert asks, "That's an improvement?" The Boss responds, "Last year the attack was premeditated."
Thursday September 26,
2002
Tags #3 projects, #cucbicle, #double wide, #elevator, #scarbble, #night, #counterfeit vowles
Transcript
Dilbert and his mom are in the kitchen. Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. She says, "Norma's son finished three projects last year. You only did one." Dilbert's mom continues, "His cubicle is a double-wide. And his CEO once said hi to him in the elevator." Dilbert's mom concludes, "Thanks to you, my 'scrabble' night is a living hell." Dilbert asks, "Do you still use counterfeit vowels?"
Friday September 27,
2002
Tags #one project, #finished one, #measure worth, #number of projects, #track roi, #losing, #competition amongst mothers, #dilberts mom
Transcript
Dilbert and his mom are eating dinner. Dilbert's mom asks, "Why have you only finished one project at work this year? Norma's son did three." Dilbert responds, "You can't measure someone's worth by counting the number of projects he does." Dilbert's mom says to her friends, "Maybe we should track R.O.I. instead." One of her friends replies, "Why, because you're losing?"
Friday December 27,
2002
Tags #performance review, #two jobs, #well, #attaboy, #no budget for raise, #cheapen
Transcript
Headline: Performance Review. The Boss says to Dilbert, "You did two jobs for a year and you did them well." The Boss continues, "I have no budget for raises, so all I can offer is an attaboy." The Boss continues, "The problem is: I don't want to cheapen the whole attaboy system."
Thursday August 14,
2003
Tags #billion dollar product line, #designed and launched, #meets expectations, #high expectations, #worng
Transcript
"Alice, this year you single-handedly designed and launched a billion dollar line of new products." "For that accomplishment, I give you the highly coveted 'meets expectations' designation!" "Alice, if having high expectations of you is wrong, then I don't want to be right."
Tuesday February 17,
2004
Tags #pursue disruptive innovations.glorious, #fully funded, #amzing, #free from bureaucracy, #bean bag charis
Transcript
DOGBURT CONSULTS dogcart: "I recommend forming a separate group to pursue disruptive innovations." "It will be a glorious place: fully funded, amazing ambiance, brilliant people, free from bureaucracy." "Best of all, once a year they'll let you losers tour their work space and sit in their bean bag chairs."
Monday August 16,
2004
Tags #meeting, #improve communication, #imitates boss, #business
Transcript
Man: I called this meeting so I could tell you the division's goals for next year. Alice: Thats a good idea because we're all so dumb that we coldly possibly read this in email. Goal one: Improve communication. ALiceL I can't. Im too dumb.
Monday July 30,
2012
Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #stock market, #innovative pordcuts, #in pipeline, #r&d budget, #firings, #sexy startup, #work smarter, #ironic, #money
Transcript
Boss: Our stock is down 49% and we have no innovative products in the pipeline. CEO: Slash the R&D budget, fire 9,000 employees, and buy a sexy start-up company that we can run into the ground. Boss: We did all of that last year. CEO: Did I already tell the employees to work smarter? Boss: Yes. They thought you were being ironic.
Sunday July 25,
1999
Tags #the hindenburg, #famous cigar shaped ballon, #thank alice, #theme, #choosing, #planning, #event, #enjoy film, #hidenburg, #the humanity, #detonate
Transcript
The boss standsa at a podium dressed in a costume that includes a large blimp attached to his head. The boss says, "Welcome..." The boss says, "To our annual employee meeting." Dilbert, Alice and Wally dressed in casual clothes listen. The boss says, "Our theme this year is "The hindenburg." The boss says, "...which I'm told was a famous cigar shaped balloon." The boss says, "Let's all thank Alice for choosing the theme and planning the event. Wally and Dilbert clap. The boss says, "Now please enjoy this film clip of the Hindenberg" The boss watches shocked. From the TV, "AAAgh! The humanity!" Wally says, "He's coming for you. Detonate his costume." Alice who holds a radio control says, "One, two..."
Sunday September 19,
1999
Tags #give his presentation, #irrelevant comparisons, #low budget, #development time, #computers faster, #obvious insights
Transcript
Dilbert stands next to a blank projection screen. He says, "My boss asked me to give his presentation." Dilbert puts a transparency on the overhead projector, saying, "I'll start with his irrelevant comparisons." Dilbert points to the projection, saying, "Our budget is lower than last year...". His co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "When we had completely different projects." Pointing to a projection of a graph, Dilbert continues, "Our average product development time is less...". The co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "Than the average for companies who make different products." Dilbert puts another transparency on the projector, saying, "Let's move on to his list of blindingly obvious insights." Standing next to the projction, Dilbert says, "If it's okay with you, I won't read them aloud." The projection reads, "Computers are getting faster!"