Customer Data Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

401 Results for Customer Data

View 221 - 230 results for customer data comic strips. Discover the best "Customer Data" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failed, driving, test, nine, Dogbert, school, specialize, problem, application, form, special, pointy

View Transcript

Transcript

A customer sits across from Dogbert's desk. The boy says, "I've failed the driving test nine times. Can you help?" Dogbert replies, "I specialize in the problem cases. Just sign the application form." The boy looks at the pencil and says, "Wait . . . I've seen one of these before. Yes, there's something special about the pointy end . . . But what?" Dogbert thinks, "Uh oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, competitor, massage, helga, company, offer, house

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from a customer's desk wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. The customer says, "Your competitor was here an hour ago . . ." The man points to a woman holding a towel and massage oil and says, "He promised me a massage from Helga if I buy from his company. What's your offer?" Dilbert replies, "I'll give you my house for Helga." The man says, "You're new at this . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, reincarnation fund, rich already, customer, needs help, van

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Invest you money in my reincarnation fund and you'll be rich in a future life. Man: But I a rich in this life, for I have love in my heart and music in my soul. So, can you help me push my van home? Dogbert: It looks like you'll also have sharp pain in your muscles.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customers, marketing, technical, feasible, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: we in engineering think of the marketing department as our customer, Fred. FRED: Thats great. Id like you to do a technical feasibility study for me. Wally: would that require any work? I said "customer" not boss.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags device, dogcart scam, end of world, evil be gone, evil money, give money, scammer, take money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The end of the world is coming in the year 2000. Therefore, you should give me your money before its too late. Dogbert: It is written that money is evil, I'll keep your money in Dogberts special "evil be gone" device. And its completely deductible. ...from your savings. CUSTOMER: So Im actually making money!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lottery tickets, sale, value, yesterdays lottery, half priced lottery, cheat, scam, Dogbert, salesman, scammer, office dog, customer

View Transcript

Transcript

"What makes these a 'value'?" "Value priced lottery tickets" "They're half the normal price, and yet the chance of winning is only one in ten million less." "Hey! This is for yesterday's lottery!" "And your point is...?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project leader, dogcart consulting, shall do bidding, endless variety, expediations, slab of liver, external brain pack, career low

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding." "I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking." "By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack." "My career just reached an all time low."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags after every typo, point and click, poorly documented commands, reboot, interface

View Transcript

Transcript

"We could design the product with a simple point - and - click interface..." "Or we could require the user to choose among thousands of poorly documented commands, each of which must be typed exactly right on the first try." "Bear in mind, we'll never meet a customer ourselves." "Make it so they have to reboot after every typo."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert the consultant, warranty replacements, customers, repeat customers

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERT THE CONSULTANT Dogbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "You can gauge your success by the number of repeat customers you have." The Boss says, "I'm proud to say that virtually every customer gets another unit within three months of buying the first one!" Dogbert asks, "What if you don't count warranty replacements?" The Boss replies, "Ooh . . . Then we don't look so good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogberts tech support, online data base, compatible, computer, software, red blotches, poison ivy, technology, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk using a computer. He says into the phone, "According to my online database, our product isn't compatible with your computer." Dogbert continues, "It's also incompatible with all other computers and all other software including our own." Dogbert continues, "And those red blotches on your hands - that's because our box is made of poison ivy."