Dead Cat Bounce Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

251 Results for Dead Cat Bounce

View 221 - 230 results for dead cat bounce comic strips. Discover the best "Dead Cat Bounce" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags emailed file, accomplishments, entire month, open the file, down load, browser, upgrade broswer, operating system, upagrde, software, hard disk, view of file, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

"My accomplishement this month was opening a file that someone e-mailed." "That took an entire month?" "It wasn't that easy. I didn't have the right software to open the file." "I tried to download the viewer from the Internet but the Web site didn't support my browser." "And I couldn't upgrade my browser until I updated my operating system!" "That required me to upgrade all of my software, too." "My hard disk got maxed out, so I had to upgrade my computer and transfer all of the files." "So, then you got to view the file?" "Yeah...It was a funny one about a cat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags incompetent vp, fired, fvaor, laugh, resignation, announcement, terse, incompetence, ambiguaous, meaning

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Fred, "Fred, you're an incompetent VP. You're fired." Fred asks, "May I ask for one favor?" Catbert says, "Sure. I could use a laugh." Fred says, "Please don't make my resignation announcement terse." Fred continues, "If it's terse, everyone will know I was fired for incompetence." Catbert smiles an ugly smile and Fred asks, "Does that smile mean you'll do what I ask?" Catbert says, "I'm sorry if that was ambiguous. Let me try again." Catbert smiles an even bigger ugly smile and Fred says, "I'm still not getting your meaning." Dilbert sits at his computer and reads a memo which says, "Re: Fred. Career dead."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cats & kittens, surgery, surgeon, left something inside, left stuff, wallet, car keys, cat, meow, animals, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: It's your surgeon. He says he might have left something inside you. Boss: What??! A sponge? A scalpel? Carol: No... his watch. And... his car keys... and wallet. He says he used your torso to store his valuables while he went for a run. Boss: Meow! Carol: I'll ask about that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cats & kittens, physics, famous physicist, zombie

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: This is Wulf. He used to work for a famous physicist named Schrodinger. He escaped before the experiment was finished and now he's both alive and dead at the same time. Dilbert: Like a zombie? Catbert: Uh-oh. Wulf: Wow. I have half a mind to be offended by that.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, honesty, managers & supervisors, motivation, insincere, bar too high, low motivation, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My motivation is low today. I understand it's your job to fix that situation. An insincere attaboy or a fake interest in my life would be enough. Boss: Drop dead and let the flies eat you. Dilbert: I set the bar too high again.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personnel officers, hr approval, enjoying pain, new rule, interview qiuestions, awkward feelings, cat, desk, laughing at boss, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss; Interviews are getting awkward because of the new rule that human resources has to approve all questions. And you haven't approved any yet. Catbert: Heh heh heh heh heh heh! Boss: Stop enjoying my pain! Catbert: Stop making it so enjoyable!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags high five, human resources, managers, work ethic, trash talking, emplyee, boss, desk, practice, cat, human, animals, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I'm getting complaints that you've been trash-talking employees' families so they'll spend more time at work. I stopped by to give you a high-five from Human Resources. Your aim is terrible. Boss: The first one was practice~

3 D Immersive Goggles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
3 D Immersive Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags death, distraction, mortality, technology, virtual reality, 3d goggles, testing, good experince, forget to eat, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hey, Ted, how do you like our new 3-D immersive goggles you've been testing for two weeks? Some people say the experience is so good that you forget to eat. You're dead, aren't you...

Ceo Returns From The Afterlife

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Returns From The Afterlife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags afterlife, angel, ceos, demon, evil, executives, good, good vs. evil, returning from the dead

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I returned from the afterlife and I'm taking back my job as CEO. Dilbert: So... you're an angel? CEO: I set all of the thermostats to 140 degrees. Let's see how long it takes you to answer your own question.

Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags punishment, cat, throwing, executives, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.