Decide Raises Approve Expenses Comic Strips - Page 23
294 Results for Decide Raises Approve Expenses
View 221 - 230 results for decide raises approve expenses comic strips. Discover the best "Decide Raises Approve Expenses" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 11, 2013's comic on:
Catbert: Studies say employees prefer having a good boss over getting a raise. So instead of giving raises, pretend to be less dysfunctional. It's cheaper. Bwahahahaha!!! Boss: You're a creepy little dude.
Share June 18, 2008's comic on:
Dogbert's Rumor Control Ted says, "I need to squash a workplace rumor that I'm an idiot." Dogbert says, "I charge $10 for each false rumor and $1,000 for any rumor I decide is true." Ted says, "Sounds fair." Dogbert says, "Really? That just cost you $1,000."
Share August 15, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "I never have enough information to make an informed decision." The Boss says, "But that's okay because I'm a good judge of people." Dilbert says, "Can you approve this?" The Boss thinks, "Baby puncher."
Share August 16, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "The company will be using less air conditioning to reduce expenses." The Boss says, "To compensate, we're loosening up on the dress code. Shorts will now be allowed." Wally says, "I'm not going to update my shorts wardrobe until I know this will last."
Share August 20, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "My company sent me to give money to a hobo. It's our way of helping the local community." Dilbert says, "I'm authorized to give a million dollars to one of you." A hobo says, "How do you decide which one?" Dilbert says, "Maybe you could fight for it." The other hobo says, "Say 'go.'"
Share December 27, 2008's comic on:
Wally says, "Where's our pointy haired boss?" Carol says, "He's at an offsite meeting to decide who to lay off." Carol says, "Don't worry. I booked the meeting at the Beelzebub Inn. No one has ever returned from there." The Boss says, "If you don't like the accommodations, next time have your own disgruntled underling book a place."
Share May 18, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "If you help bring in a new account, I'll give you a raise, unless there's no money in the budget then for raises." Alice says, "Please don't say what I think you're going to say next." The Boss says, "It's better than nothing." Alice says, "No it isn't!"
Share October 04, 2010's comic on:
Coworker says, "Alice broke my arm. You need to do something about this." Catbert says, "Okay. I'll compare Alice's economic value to yours and decide who to fire." Coworker says, "No fair! She's an engineer!" Catbert says, "You got beat up by someone who is also better at math?"
Share October 19, 2010's comic on:
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Ken says, "Every time I get near my sales bonus level, the pointy-haired boss raises the target!" Catbert says, "Ha ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! He just yanks it away! Ha ha ha!" Ken says, "I was hoping for some support." Catbert says, "Then buy a cane and talk to the tail! Ooogah!"
Share March 04, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "I'll be right back after I inoculate our CEO." The boss says, "If you ever decide to reduce our layers of management, Carl is worthless and he thinks your kids look like the director of sales." The boss thinks, "That should buy me a few months."