Eat A Bug Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

237 Results for Eat A Bug

View 221 - 230 results for eat a bug comic strips. Discover the best "Eat A Bug" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #dating, #overanalyzing, #asking out, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #diet, #dating, #restaurant, #relationships, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It took me six months to get a reservation here. I hear the food is amazing. Woman: It sounds fantastic. It's too bad I'm on a cucumber diet. I can only eat cucumbers after five o'clock. Dilbert: Well, it seems you have squandered my invitation to fine dining. Now my plan of sharing a culinary adventure is just a sad commentary on the casual rudeness of life. Can I expect you to complain about the quality of your cucumber and send it back? Waiter: We don't have cucumbers.

Ceo Sits On His Wallet

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Sits On His Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #perspective, #suffering, #competition

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I hate to complain, but it hurts when I sit on my wallet for too long. Asok: I risked an honor killing to pay my rent. CEO: This is why I hate to complain. Asok: I know a hundred ways to eat a spider.

Accidentally Buying A Tainted Company

Thank you for voting.
Accidentally Buying A Tainted Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #merger, #acquisition, #gawker, #reputation, #infamy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I accidentally talked the board into buying a company that has a tainted reputation. Catbert: How bad is the taint? CEO: Imagine Hitler's unwashed socks. Catbert: That isn't so bad. CEO: I'm just getting started. Now imagine I make you eat those socks...

It's Like You Never Existed

Thank you for voting.
It's Like You Never Existed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #supervisor, #manager, #false comparison

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I spent the past week fixing a critical bug in the software that I forgot to tell you about. Boss: In a way, it's like you never existed. Alice: No, it's not like that at all. Boss: And you have a bad attitude on top of all that.

Estimate Of Timeline

Thank you for voting.
Estimate Of Timeline - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #deception, #deadline, #goals, #ultimatum

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How fast can you fix the bug? Dilbert: I won't know until I dig in. Boss: Give me a random guess and I promise I won't hold you to it. Dilbert: Okay, three days. Boss: Now write that into your goals and get it done in three days or else. Dilbert: Why do I keep falling for that?!!!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hot peppers, #competition, #burned, #unedible, #face burned, #fire, #group, #face burn, #head, #flame

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper Dilbert: I tried a Habanero pepper last night, It almost burned off my face. Ted: Thats Nothing. I can eat the hottest peppers in the world and not even break a sweat. Dilbert: Im glad you said that, because I have with me the hottest peppers in the world. Ted: Pfft. easy. Gulp. FOOM! Dilbert: Will you admit you were wrong? Ted: You don't see any sweat , do you?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2018's comic on:


Tags #berating, #yelling, #gaslight, #temper, #anger, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: What's that gadget? Woman: Are you freakin' serious? Asok: Yes. Woman: Oh... My... God. Do you not remember the long discussion about this thing in the last meeting? Are you trying to gaslight me? I have not patience for trolls! Eat dirt and die! Asok: I joined the project today. This is my first meeting. Woman: Liar! Dilbert: Welcome to the team.

How About Lunch

Thank you for voting.
How About Lunch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #dating, #flirting, #rejection, #relationships, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Would you like to have a drink after work? Woman: I don't drink. Dilbert: How about lunch? Woman: I also don't eat. Do you see a pattern yet? Dilbert: You're an android?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.