Employee Birthday Parties Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

551 Results for Employee Birthday Parties

View 221 - 230 results for employee birthday parties comic strips. Discover the best "Employee Birthday Parties" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ted, #the boss, #typo, #budget, #spreadsheet, #pay, #work, #happiest, #day, #life

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee says to the Boss, "I found a typo in the budget spreadsheet . . . It's too late to fix it." The man continues, "We transferred one job to another group but accidentally kept the money and headcount." The Boss tells another man, ". . . So, we still pay you but you aren't allowed to do work." The man thinks, "This is the happiest day of my life."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #employers, #form, #election, #rescind, #opposite, #action, #declining, #reverse, #inclination, #discontinue, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Dilbert a form and says, "All employees must fill out this form." Dilbert reads, "Employee election to not rescind the opposite action of declining the reverse inclination to not discontinue employment with the company." Dilbert asks, "You're trying to trick us into quitting, aren't you?" The Boss hands Dilbert a pen and says, "Use ink."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #computer, #patent

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Add my name to your patent application to acknowledge my contribution." Dilbert asks, "What contribution?" Dilbert says, "You said it was a stupid idea by a stupid employee. You ordered me to stop working on it." The Boss says, "Devil's advocate!" Dilbert adds, "You also said I was ugly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #project, #man

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to an employee, "Your new project will have no budget and no management support. Expect to spend most of your time giving status reports." The man's head disappears and he thinks, "Oh no! The life force has been drained out of me! I'm becoming a damp rag!!!" Dilbert looks at the floor and says, "That's amazing." The Boss replies, "It's nothing. I did eighteen at once at the employee empowerment brunch."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #zimbu the monkey, #lay off

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "It's going to be tough deciding which of you to lay off." The Boss continues, "I want to keep the employee who projects the most professional image." Dilbert puts his hand behind Zimbu's head and makes a 'V' with his fingers. Dilbert thinks, "This should make him look pretty stupid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #man, #benefits, #union

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I just love hiring these temporary workers!" The Boss carries a man over his shoulder. The Boss continues, "No employee benefits . . . No union . . . Just toss 'em in the dumpster when you're done with them!" Dilbert says, "The dumpster seems a bit inappropriate." The Boss replies, "They're way too big to flush."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #executive man, #business meeting, #assistants

View Transcript

Transcript

An executive says, "The motion is approved. Dogbert is our new company president because he has the best hair." Dogbert says to a man who follows him taking notes, ". . . Bulldoze the employee cafeteria and put in my helicopter pad . . . And I need a few office improvements . . ." Dogbert points to the floor in front of his desk and says to the assistant, "We need a trap door here, but it won't be funny unless you can give me some 'flushing' sounds."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #worklife balance, #japanese, #sleeping, #productivity, #commuting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points to a wall of circular openings and tells Dilbert, "I borrowed a Japanese work custom - sleeping tubes!" The Boss explains, "No more wasted time commuting. If you keel over from exhaustion we'll just cram you into a sleep tube." Dilbert asks, "Which tube is mine?" The Boss replies, "You don't get a personal tube unless you're employee of the week."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #transferred, #marketing, #slaps employee, #groggy, #disoriented, #fit in better, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Im sorry Dave, But your being transferred to marketing and theres no budget to train you as a marketer. Slap! Dave: where am I? I need a drink. The Boss: This is a temporary fix...but you'll fit in now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carpal tunnel, #health care, #money, #surgery, #constant agony, #false alarm, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Employee: So now I have carpal tunnel syndrome... The Boss: ZZZZ Employee: you don't care about the health of your employees! All you care about is money!! The Boss: money? Employee: I need surgery! Im in constant again!! The boss: False alarm. zzz