Half Full Glass Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

325 Results for Half Full Glass

View 221 - 230 results for half full glass comic strips. Discover the best "Half Full Glass" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #new engineer, #cheap, #huge raise, #under budget, #static electricity, #fuzzy cute, #dead now

View Transcript

Transcript

Title reads: "Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert is at his desk. He says to Dilbert, "I hired a new engineer for your project." Catbert unveils the new engineer. He is a joke. His tongue hangs out of his mouth, his eyes are wide, his collar is up and one side of his shirt is untucked. Catbert says, "He's never been an engineer before." Dilbert listens as Catbert continues, "But YOU'RE an engineer, so how hard could it be?" Catbert adds, "And he's cheap! I'll get a huge raise for being under budget." Dilbert is getting furious. Catbert exclaims, "And your project will fail! Ha Ha Ha Ha!" As the new engineer reaches towards him, Catbert realizes, "Uh-oh. I laughed myself full of static electricity." The new engineer thinks, "Fuzzy. Cute." and pets Catbert. "Zap!" Dilbert, standing over the body of the new engineer, asks, "He's dead. Now what?" Catbert replies, "I guess you'll have to drag him to the meetings."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #must bride, #elbonians, #nuclear weapon, #microwave instead, #persian rugs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The Elbonians won't do business with my company unless we bribe them. Dogbert: offer to give them plans for building a nuclear weapon, Then give them plans to build microwave ovens instead. Dilbert: would that work? Dogbert: why do you think our garage is full of persona rugs?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #da vinci code, #excluding parts, #information etchnology, #mordac, #preventor

View Transcript

Transcript

"I am Mordac, the preventer of information technology, and I have assigned you a new password." "What is it?" "Click click" "It's the full text of 'The Da Vinci Code,' excluding the parts I don't believe." "I'm not touching you." "Stupid scenery descriptions!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I've been watching you for half an hour and you've done no work." "I'm waiting for my program to compile while I design the next module in my head." "Could you grimace so I know you're working?" "Here you go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, what's the status on the RDP project?" "Am I working on that one?" "You've been in charge of it for a year." "Oh. In that case, it's almost done." "Half of being a manager is living with a vague feeling of uneasiness."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, why isn't my e-mail working today?" "The Internet is full." "Great! Now what do I do?" "I wonder if I'm supposed to see anything when it's draining."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Sorry I'm late. I was behind a herd of slow walkers. "I couldn't jog around them at the wide spots because my coffee cup was too full." "It's all part of my can't-do approach to life."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Did you have a chance to review my PowerPoint presentation? "It's full of technical jargon and it's way too long." "Did you even look at it?" "Why would I look at something like that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Our CEO only has five minutes. Is that enough time for your PowerPoint presentation? "No. An incomplete explanation of the situation will cause massively harmful strategic choices." "What can we get for four-and-a-half minutes?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

We can kick a field goal in the ninth inning if we use a full-court press. "Remember that you drive for show but you pick up the spare for dough." "Have you been helping Alice with her sports metaphors?" "Perhaps."