Hand On Shoulder Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

366 Results for Hand On Shoulder

View 221 - 230 results for hand on shoulder comic strips. Discover the best "Hand On Shoulder" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #key to success, #really fast, #speed, #ok to fail

View Transcript

Transcript

Pointing to a picture of a man running, the Boss says to his staff "Speed is the key to success." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Is it okay to do things wrong if we're really fast?" The Boss answers, "Um...no." Wally says to Dilbert, "Now I'm all confused. Thank you very much."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #huge demand, #laugh at yourself, #employes

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss puts his hand on Ted's back and says, "Ted, there's a huege demand for employees like you." The Boss continues, "Not you specifically...which is funny if you think about it." The Boss calls after him as he walks away, "Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #genetic anamolies, #genetic engineering, #grow on, #hand growing on head, #new temp, #temp agnecy, #wear goggles

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The Dogbert temp agency uses genetic engineering to grow our own workers. The Boss: Isn't that dangerous? Dogbert: I wear safety goggles. Temp: Im the new temp. Alice: Um Im alice.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoid work, #faking coma, #punch repeatedly, #get alice, #right or left handed

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally waves his hand in front of The Boss' blankly staring eyes and says to Dilbert, "He might be faking a coma to avoid work." Wally says to Dilbert, "The only way to find out is to punch him repeatedly." Dilbert says, "Maybe we should get Alice." Wally, bunching his fists, asks, "Do you remember if I'm right- or left-handed?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #must delight customoers, #stop price gauging, #stop selling defective products, #talking about customers, #delighting customers, #empathy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at the head of the conference table. He says, "It's not enough to 'serve' our customers..." The Boss continues, "We must DELIGHT them!" Alice asks, "You mean we have to stop price-gouging?" The Boss replies, "No, I think we can still do that." Wally raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh!I know!" Wally continues, "We could stop selling products with known defects." The Boss shouts, "I'm talking about products, not customers!!" Wally turns to Dilbert and Alice and asks, "Do you feel like delighting customers?" Dilbert replies, "I barely have the empathy to pity them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #morale problem, #boss solutions, #knickname for group, #scatalogical, #involves monkeys, #meeting, #decide nickname, #suggestions, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands at the front of the room in front of an easel that says "Morale Problem." The Boss says, "I have a solution to our morale problem." The Boss continues, "We need a nickname for our group." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Can it be something scatological?" The Boss replies, "Ummm...no." Wally asks, "How about something that involves monkeys?" The Boss says, "I don't think so." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Oooh...but can it be something that's both scatological AND involves monkeys?" Wally walks out of the meeting and says, "It's hard to be optimistic when he's so grumpy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vast wisdom, #evil sadistic, #obstructionists, #trust no one, #except the lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern enters Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, may I tap into your vast wisdom?" Wally turns and answers, "Okay, but make sure you pull out before your head explodes." Asok says, "I've noticed that many employees are evil, sadistic obstructionists." Asok continues, "Do all the nuts work HERE by some strange coincidence?" Asok continues, "Or are most employees evil?" Wally says, "Don't focus on the evil, Asok." Wally says, "Focus on the few employees who seem good." Wally continues, holding up his hand, "THEY'RE the ones who will stab you when you're sleeping! Trust no one but the lazy!" Asok runs out of the cubicle yelling, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Wally calls after him, "I warned you to pull out."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #job interview, #name, #tubby, #human resources dept, #sent resume, #entrepreneur, #toby, #made up name, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "Catbert the Director of Human Resources." Catbert stands on the table in front of a prospective applicant. He says, "So, you want a job here, Tubby?" The man replies, "It's 'Toby.'" Catbert looks at the sheet of paper in his hand and asks, "Did you just correct me?" The man says, "Um..." Catbert turns and shouts at the man, "I alone will determine your name!!" Catbert looks at him and asks, "Now, what is your name?" The man answers, "Tubby." Catbert reads the paper and says, "Tubby, is it true that you're so dumb that you..." Catbert holds out the paper and continues, "...Sent your resume to the human resources department?" The man looks frightened as Catbert continues, "Do you think that's what this department does? Let me show you what I do." The man is seen walking down the hall, his clothes torn into shreds and looking beaten up. The man says, "I think I just became an entrepreneur."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sould, #alice, #manager, #claim ticket, #demoted, #play sax

View Transcript

Transcript

A little cloud hovers near Alice and says, "Hello, Alice. I'm your soul." Alice looks alarmed as a hand reaches for the cloud. The cloud says, "You're a manager now; You won't be needing me." A man in a devil suit holds the cloud, hands Alice a small piece of paper and says to her, "Here's a claim ticket in case you get demoted or learn to play sax."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #huge, #management training, #stupid mistake, #class, #school, #learn from it, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert says to Alice and the rest of the Management Training class, "What would you do if you made a huge, incredibly stupid mistake?" A man sitting next to Alice in the class raises his hand and says, "I would try to learn from it." Dogbert asks, "Did you learn anything from your answer?"