Hate The Messenger Comic Strips - Page 23

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271 Results for Hate The Messenger

View 221 - 230 results for hate the messenger comic strips. Discover the best "Hate The Messenger" comics from Dilbert.com.

Carol And The Terrorist

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Carol And The Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #terrorist, #terrorism, #racist, #race, #muslim, #assume, #assumption, #accuse, #accusation

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Carol: I hear you're a terrorist sympathizer. Asok: What? No! I'm not even close. I don't want to hate you! Please stop radicalizing me! Carol: Sweating, agitated, he looks suspicious to me. Asok: Who are you talking to???!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sexism, #sexist, #misogyny, #conversation, #talking

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Alice: You give Wally your full attention when he talks, but not me. You hang on every word the man says. But if I try to talk, you act distracted in five seconds. Wally gets more eye contact, too. You don't even look at me half the time I'm talking. Deep down, in your DNA, you know you are a sexist because you don't take me seriously when I speak to you. There is no other explanation, so don't insult me by trying. Dilbert: I give both of you the same amount of attention, but you spread it over more words. Alice: I hate both of you. Dilbert: Did I play that wrong? Wally: Yup.

Closer To Being A Terrorist

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Closer To Being A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Religion, #logic, #terrorism, #terrorist, #radicalization, #extremism, #fbi, #interrogation

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FBI Secret Facility. Asok: I am a nonviolent Hindu. You use violence as a tool, and your religion is centered around one of Islam's prophets. So... technically, you're closer to being a radical Islamic terrorist than I am. Agent: I hate engineers.

Trust Yet Verify

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Trust Yet Verify - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #philosophy, #philosopher, #oxymoron, #micromanaging

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Boss: I believe in the old Ronald Reagan saying that you should "trust, but verify." That's why I empower you, yet I micromanage. Alice: What the...? Boss: Don't hate me for being philosophical.

People Are Terrible

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People Are Terrible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hate, #human error, #interpersonal, #introvert, #misanthropy, #people, #antisocial

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Boss: What's the biggest risk with your plan? Dilbert: It's people. They're terrible once you get to know them. Boss: Then don't get to know them. Dilbert: I tried that with you and it didn't work.

Biggest Risk To Happiness

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Biggest Risk To Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #Advice, #complaining, #conversation, #psychology

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Wally: The biggest risk to your happiness involves listening to other people. When they aren't trying to make you work, they're complaining. Asok: I hate that. Wally: Shhh. Don't talk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #punctuality, #late, #excuses, #traffic, #sleep, #time management, #health

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Tina: Sorry I'm late. Traffic was terrible. Dilbert: Isn't the traffic from your house always terrible at this time of day? Tina: Exactly! That's why I'm late every day. Dilbert: Do you see any way you could fix that? Tina: I can't control the traffic. Dilbert: You could leave earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't get enough sleep. Dilbert; You could go to bed earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't have time to watch Netflix until two in the morning. Do you want me to hate my life? Dilbert: I didn't until now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #learning, #education, #tutorial, #frustration

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Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #correction, #correcting, #freak out, #anger, #tress, #Advice, #eavesdropping, #awkward, #temper

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Man: What's the best way to invest these days? Boss: Penny stocks are the best value because they only cost a penny. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate over hearing bad advice! Boss: If I were you, I"d take out a second mortgage and load up. Dilbert; I don't want to get involved, but I'll feel bad if I don't. Boss: You'll get reliable stock-picking advice from strangers on television. Dilbert: Run! Cover your ears and run! If it makes you feel any less awkward, I don't now what to do now, either.

Tina's Soul Will Live On

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Tina's Soul Will Live On - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reincarnation, #afterlife, #faith, #soul

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Tina: I hate my job, but I'm looking forward to my afterlife. Dilbert: Are you hearing good things about decomposing? Tina: My soul will live forever. Wally: Good luck. I lost mine at my first performance review.