Helping Customer Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

237 Results for Helping Customer

View 221 - 230 results for helping customer comic strips. Discover the best "Helping Customer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Trust Your First Instinct

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Trust Your First Instinct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bribe, #bribery, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: People are telling me you are accepting bribes to help co-workers on projects. Wally: You think I'm helping my co-workers? Boss: Good point. That part didn't sound right. Wally: Trust your first instinct.

Hire A Famous Cartoonist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hire A Famous Cartoonist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #samsung, #safety, #explosion, #battery, #marketing, #trust, #celebrity, #cartoonist, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to regain customer trust after our exploding phone fiasco. Dogbert: You need a celebrity endorsement. People trust celebrities with their life-and-death decisions. Maybe a famous cartoonist. Boss: I don't see how that could go wrong. Narrator: Continued...

Re Accomodation On The Flight

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Re Accomodation On The Flight - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #air travel, #airlines, #customer service, #overbooking, #flight

View Transcript

Transcript

Flight Attendant: The flight is overbooked and our algorithm selected you for re-accommodation. Dilbert: What exactly does "re-accommodation" mean in this context? Oh.

Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #airlines, #air travel, #flight, #overbooking, #customer service

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Why did your algorithm pick me to be bumped from the full flight? Is it because I had the lowest-cost ticket? Agent: It was that plus your lack of upper body strength.

Do Whatever The Data Says

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Do Whatever The Data Says - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #study, #analysis, #decision, #conclusions, #bias, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to do a financial analysis on upgrading our customer tracking software. Dilbert: What conclusion do you want me to reach? Boss: We'll do whatever the data says. Dilbert: Which is...? Boss: I already bought the upgrade.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Alice Forgives

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Forgives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #revenge, #forgiveness, #bygones, #anger, #vindictive

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Alice, can you review this for technical accuracy? Alice: No, because six years ago you rolled your eyes when I said something at a meeting. Man: Can you forgive me? Alice: Yes. That process involves not helping you.

Helping The Boss Be Successful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helping The Boss Be Successful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #helpfulness, #niceness, #kindness

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: How can I help you achieve your goals and be more successful? Boss: You could stop talking all creepy and weird. Asok: I thought I was being helpful. Boss: Go hate your job like everyone else.

Our Api

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Our Api - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hackers, #hacking, #api, #jargon, #obliviousness, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Reporter. Dogbert: How did hackers get access to your customer data? CEO: I'm told they used something called "our A.P.I." to suck out all the data. Dogbert: I'll just say you'er stupid. CEO: Why does everyone always say that?

Press Release About Hack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Press Release About Hack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #hacking, #information, #privacy, #damage control, #apology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hackers got our customer data. Write a press release saying we are sorry and it will never happen again. Tina: Is any of that true? Boss: Part of it is. Tina: Which part. Boss: Hackers got our customer data.