Hire Lawyer Comic Strips - Page 23
240 Results for Hire Lawyer
View 221 - 230 results for hire lawyer comic strips. Discover the best "Hire Lawyer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Boss: Review this contract and tell me if it looks right. Dilbert: It's legal gibberish. I don't understand a word of it. Boss: So... you see no problems? Dilbert: Only a lawyer could understand it. Boss: But otherwise it's okay? Dilbert: My inability to identify a problem is not proof of no problems. Boss: Then how do you know when all of your problems have been fixed? I'll just sign it and see what happens.
Dilbert: I can't get any work done because the storytelling mothman keeps popping in to my cubicle uninvited. Why did you hire a storytelling mothman in the first place? Was it not obvious this would happen? Boss: Everyone's a genius in hindsight.
Boss: Which one of the engineering candidates should I hire? Dilbert: Both are highly experienced, but one has a terrible personality. Boss: Sounds like a perfect fit. Dilbert: I told him to expect an offer.
Boss: Wally, I need you to write up your job description for me. Wally: Is that because you're planning to hire someone to replace me? Boss: I need it by tomorrow. Wally: Job description: leverage platform technologies to maximize software architecture optimization via nanotubes. Here you go. Boss: Can you start on Monday? Man: I changed my mind.
Man: I've been a contractor here for over a year. Maybe you should just hire me. Boss: Who are you? I didn't even know I was paying you. Man: Perhaps we can pretend this conversation never happened. Boss: That feels like the best option.
Boss: Everyone says you aren't being a team player because you keep disagreeing with everything. Dilbert: Everyone does not say that, and I don't disagree with everything. Boss: There you go again. You'd be a terrible lawyer. Dilbert: Thank you.
Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?
Boss: We only hire people who have experience. Man: How can I get experience if no one wants to hire inexperienced people? Boss: We do hire liars. Man: Oh, good. I have tons of experience.
Boss: The job market is so tight that I had to hire this NPC. Dilbert: NPC? Boss: Non-player character. It's a video game term for a character that is programmed.As opposed to being an avatar for a human player. An NPC has limited programmed responses. Watch this. How's your day going? NPC: Not bad for a Monday. Boss: Can you help me on my project? NPC: I am too busy: Boss: What do you think of management? NPC: They are all dumb. Wally: I just bonded with that thing. Boss: See how fast you get used to it?