Hired On Spot Comic Strips - Page 23

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251 Results for Hired On Spot

View 221 - 230 results for hired on spot comic strips. Discover the best "Hired On Spot" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Hires A Narrator

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Dilbert Hires A Narrator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, coffee, office, office workers, narrator

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dilbert: i'm not a good communicator, so i hired a narrator. cynthia: how will a narrator help? dogbert: cynthia was as dumb as she looked.

Evil Marketing

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Evil Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, chimps, evil, marketing, office, product

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dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.

Consultant Gets No Help

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Consultant Gets No Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, lazy, managers & supervisors, selfish, stupid

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the new consultant: none of your department heads are cooperating with me. several are selfish, lazy and stupid, while others are actively working against me. maybe you could talk to them. ceo: i hired you so i wouldn't need to talk to losers.

Toxic Employee

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Toxic Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees

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boss: i hired a toxic employee to keep the rest of you on your toes. if you utter one wrong word, this thing will report you to human resources. dilbert: what gender is it? toxic employee: stop hitting on me.

Toxic Employee Was Right

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Toxic Employee Was Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, fire, managers & supervisors

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boss: does anyone have any suggestions for improving our company culture? dilbert: for starters, you could fire the toxic employee you hired for no good reason. boss whispers to toxic employee: you were right about dilbert being a hater. toxic employee: you should hear what he says about you.

Hiring A Bad Analogy Guy

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Hiring A Bad Analogy Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office, office workers, questions, sarcasm, arrogance

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Boss: I hired a bad analogy guy. Instead of giving reasons for his opinions, he asks ridiculous questions while acting arrogant. Dilbert: That doesn't seem useful. Man: Would you say that about oxygen?

Dilbert Gets A Mentor

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Dilbert Gets A Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, Advice, mentor, productivity, operations, vice president, pressure, trick

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boss: i heard you asked our v.p. of operations to be your mentor. why didn't you tell me you needed some mentoring? i'm full of useful advice. dilbert: such as? boss: well... not you're putting me on the spot. it's hard to think of advice while you're pressuring me. maybe you could give me a scenario, and then i'll tell you what to do. dilbert: okay, suppose my boss is ruining my productivity by yammering about his great advice. what can i do? boss: that feels like a trick question. dilbert: our v.p. of operations could answer it.

Business Agility Influencer

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Business Agility Influencer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, agility, solution, meaningless, useless

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ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!

Microaggressions

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Microaggressions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, human resources, micro aggressions, hire, engineer

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catbert: someone reported you to human resources for all of your micro aggressions dilbert: what would be an example of one? catbert: it doesn't matter dilbert: it feels as of to should matter catbert: this is why engineers never get hired for human resources

Elbonian Spy

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Elbonian Spy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, elbonian, spy, engineers, economy, intellectual, property, collaborate

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boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?