May Not Speak Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

227 Results for May Not Speak

View 221 - 227 results for may not speak comic strips. Discover the best "May Not Speak" comics from Dilbert.com.

Changing The Website

Thank you for voting.
Changing The Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #internet & world wide web, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We need to change one of the links on our website. Boss: Pull together a study team, do a focus group, get buy-in from all departments, and present it at the next division meeting. Dilbert: I changed it while you were yammering. Boss: Let us never speak of this again.

Sending Email At Night

Thank you for voting.
Sending Email At Night - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #email, #employees, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?

Hiring A Millennial

Thank you for voting.
Hiring A Millennial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #office workers, #sarcasm, #smartphone, #generation, #millennial

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a millennial who was raised by smartphones. He won't make eye contact, and we don't expect him to ever mate. Dilbert: Can he speak? Boss: Yes, but only with sarcasm.

Twitch Gets You More Work

Thank you for voting.
Twitch Gets You More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #communication, #office, #office workers, #project

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: does anyone have an idea for fixing our communication problem with marketing? dilbert, alice, wally and asok thinking: must...not...speak or else he will assign the project to me. the boss: i saw your eye twitch. the project is all yours. alice: GAAAA!!! visually upset

Blinking Tell

Thank you for voting.
Blinking Tell - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #spying, #elbonian

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i didn't believe you were a spy for the elbonian government until you denied it the wrong way. the boss: you were slow to speak, and you blinked. dilbert: that isn't evidence of anything. the boss yelling: you blinked again!

Wally Gives Back The Baby

Thank you for voting.
Wally Gives Back The Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #gender, #misunderstanding, #obliviousness, #Parenting, #adoption

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How's your adopted Elbonian baby doing? Wally: I had to give it back. It was a lot needier than I expected. Dilbert: Was the baby a boy or a girl? Wally: How would I know? It couldn't even speak yet.

Ignorant Opinions

Thank you for voting.
Ignorant Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #criticism, #insults, #office workers, #Opinion, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I told your boss I think your project is heading in the wrong direction. Dilbert: Given that you only know about 20% of what one should know to have an informed opinion on the topic, may I conclude that you are stupid and toxic? Man: You don't know me! Dilbert: I'm basing my opinion on the 20% I do know.