My Budget Estimates Comic Strips - Page 23

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View 221 - 230 results for my budget estimates comic strips. Discover the best "My Budget Estimates" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #business report

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Dilbert hands the Boss a document and says, "Here's my time report, in fifteen minute increments." Dilbert says, "And here's my monthly project status, my budget forecast, my key accomplishments, my jeopardy list . . ." The Boss thinks as Dilbert walks away, "Never has so little been measured so much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #transferred, #marketing, #slaps employee, #groggy, #disoriented, #fit in better, #business

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The Boss: Im sorry Dave, But your being transferred to marketing and theres no budget to train you as a marketer. Slap! Dave: where am I? I need a drink. The Boss: This is a temporary fix...but you'll fit in now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #shot from cannon, #building, #crash window, #lands on desk, #Dilbert, #travel budget cuts, #primitive, #begs for busfare

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Boom! CRASH! I hear your company is trimming travel budgets. Dilbert: Can anyone lend me bus fare to get home?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laptop computers, #its to program, #training program, #rectangle plastic thing, #boost sales, #sales force

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In an effort to boost sales, laptop computers have been given to every member of the sales force." Wally says, "That could be a problem, given the recent cuts to the training budget." The caption says, "Meanwhile, in the field." A salesperson holds up a laptop and says to a client, "And if you order today, I'll throw in this rectangular plastic thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #guide, #movie, #advertising, #thumbs, #nominated, #academy, #award, #stallone, #funniest, #masterpledge, #source, #farm

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The panel is titled, "Dogbert's Guide to Movie Advertisements." Dogbert says, "Trust me." The advertisement says, "'Thumbs up.' -Gene Siskel." Dogbert says, "Meaning: Roger Ebert hates it." The advertisement says, "'Nominated for an Academy Award.'" Dogbert says, "Notice they don't say for what -- probably 'Best Gaffer.'" The advertisement says, "'Funniest movie of the year.'" Dogbert says, "He saw it in mid-January." The advertisement says, "Four stars . . . A masterpiece!'" Dogbert says, "The movie studio only paid off one critic. Must be a low-budget film." The advertisement says, "'Powerful performances.'" Dogbert says, "It's a downer. Somebody probably gets a disease and loses the farm." The advertisement says, "'I loved it!' -Floyd Belcher, Nosehair Magazine." Dogbert says, "Remember to consider the source." The advertisement says, "Stallone's funniest movie yet." Dogbert says, "I think you get the hang of it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #underfunded porject, #resources, #intern, #sponge bath, #water fountain, #employees, #budget diffrences, #business

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Rag Man thinks, "I hate being on an underfunded project." Alice walks by with some guy. Rag Man asks, "Can you spare some resources, lady? How about that intern? Are you using him?" Rag Man shows intern, "First you have to learn how to give yourself a sponge bath at the water fountain."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #alice, #Dilbert, #Wally, #executive, #business meeting, #hr

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The Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and an executive sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "You all know our president, Mister Goodenrich. He's here to answer any questions you have." Alice asks, "Why aren't there any women or minorities in senior management positions?" Mr. Goodenrich replies, "We think women are for making babies. As for minorities, we fear them." Wally asks, "How can you justify your ten million dollar salary when profits are down?" The president laughs and replies, "The board of directors are friends of mine and it's not their money they're spending." Dilbert asks, "Why does the company keep talking about employee training while at the same time slashing the training budget?" The president replies, "We think you're too dumb to train. We'll hire people from the outside if we need talent." Wally says, "I must say, your honesty is kind of refreshing." The president replies, "And you're all fired for asking questions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the consultant, #excellent advice, #50k monthly, #offer bad advice, #45k month

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Banner reading "Dogbert the Consultant" appears across top of page. Dogbert sitting in front of The Boss. Dogbert says, "I cab give you excellent advice for $50,000 per month." Dogbert sitting in chair continues, "If budget is a problem, I also offer bad advice for the low price of $45,000 per month." Dilbert and Alice watch as The Boss runs past their cubicle with scissors in hand. Alice says, "That's not a good sign."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #troll, #cave, #bureaucracy, #computer, #business

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Dilbert enters a cave. A door above the sign says "Bureaucracy." Dilbert tells a troll sitting at a desk, "I need to buy an upgrade for my computer." The troll growls. The troll replies, "First, you must write a business case and get five signatures." Another troll jumps onto Dilbert's back. The troll sitting at the desk continues, "Get bids from nine vendors." Another troll approaches Dilbert. The troll continues, "All vendors must be approved by a vote of the vendor approval committee." The troll lists, ". . . Purchase order . . . Budget transfer . . . Legal review . . . Accounting classification . . . Inventory . . ." Several trolls cling to Dilbert's body. The troll explains, "These steps are necessary to prevent employees from doing something uneconomical." Dilbert arrives at home with several trolls clinging to his body. Dogbert asks, ". . . So you suggested a process 'quality audit'?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah, that's the one clinging to my buttocks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interfered with project, #empowering employees, #bonus, #real boss, #body in dumpster, #boss acting unusual

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Dilbert and The Boss. Dilbert says, "You haven't interfered with my project in weeks. Something must be wrong." The Boss responds, "I believe in empowering my employees and staying out of the way." Dilbert, in a surprised manner, says, "Am I going to find my real boss's body in a dumpster?" The Boss says, "There's extra money in the budget. Would you like a bonus?"