New Contract Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Contract

View 221 - 230 results for new contract comic strips. Discover the best "New Contract" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bog stubborn, #dumb guy, #contract employees, #email, #bulletin list, #incremental cost, #agree with me, #our lives

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Big stubborn guy" Dan says, "We should remove the contract employees from our e-mail bulletin list." Dilbert says, "Um.. they need that information to do thier jobs, and there's no incremental cost." Dilbert says, "This is when you agree with me and we move on eith our lives." Dan says, "I will fight you to the end of the earth!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new laptops, #osbournes, #sloppy drive, #operating, #internet time

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, The Boss and Wally sit in a meeting. The Boss reads from his notes. The Boss says, "All new computers will be osbornes." The Boss says, "They come with something called a floppy drive." Dilbert says to Wally, "Somethimg tells me we're not operating on 'Internet Time.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy doing, #embryo in jar, #got fertiziled, #cute one

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a coffe mug and says to Wally, "How's the new guy doing?" Wally looks at Embryo on the desk and says, "Not bad for an embryo in a jar." Wally says, "I hate the fact that he only got fertilized a week ago and he gets paid more than I do." Dilbert says, "In all fairness, he does obstruct progress less than you do." Wally says, "Everyone sides with the cute one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #photograohy, #new hobby, #picture, #selfie

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss holds a camera and says to Dilbert, "Photography is my new hobby." The Boss takes a flash photograph of himself. Dilbert says to himself, "Do you want a picture of me?" The Boss says, "No, I like to look at them later."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new ceo, #turnaround expert, #pleasure to meet, #business process, #value based, #management method

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, the boss, Wally, Asok and a new guy with big sharp teeth and horns on his head are in a meeting. The new guy looks like the devil. The boss directs evryone's attention to him and says, "This our new CEO. He has a reputation as a turnaround expert." Asok says, "It is a pleasure to meet you. Do you favor TQM or more of a business process approach?" The new guy replies, "I'm partial to the value-based management method." Asok says, "I'm not familiar with that one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the turnaround ceo, #turnaround is complete, #new job, #meat packing, #reduce overhead, #switch rooms, #fisnih afternoon

View Transcript

Transcript

The Turnaround CEO The devilish CEO says to Dilbert, "The turnaround is complete. I'm off to my new job." He continues, "It's a meat packing house that need to reduce overhead." Still talking, "I figure I can switch a few room signs and finish in an afternoon."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #webmistress ming, #internet, #catch on, #new paradigm, #beat me, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Webmistress Ming: Ming is sitting at her computer and the boss is standing behind her. The boss says: "Ming, I think the internet might catch on." The boss says to Ming: "I rushed over here so I could be the first to say it's a new paradigm." The boss says to Ming: "Did anyone beat me?" Ming answers: "I wish someone would."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #didn't listen, #good work, #magazine, #more assignments, #new boss, #boss, #secretary

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol hands a sheet of paper to Alice who is at her computer and says: "When you finish this, I have more assignments for you." Alice says to Carol: "Carol, you're the boss's secretary, not my boss. And this is a page from a magazine." Carol says to Alice: "Keep up the good work." Alice answers surprised: "You didn't listen. That can only mean you're the new boss."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wally report, #serious threat, #productivity, #new things, #brain full, #forget fifth grade, #more information, #can't sustain information

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Wally, Dilbert and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Wally says: "In this week's Wally report, I'll discuss a serious threat to my productivity." Wally says: "By Tuesday my brain was so full that I had to forget things to make room for new things." Alice looks to Wally through the coner of her eyes. The boss says: "Wally. I have some information for you." Wally says: "Great. I'll just forget the fifth grade."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paul tergeist, #technology, #new lab partner, #pen hovering

View Transcript

Transcript

A strange-looking man with a tie that sticks-up in the air introduces himself to Dilbert who is sitting facing his computer. The man says: "My name is Paul Tergeist." Dilbert is attentively looking at his computer which displays an error message. Paul Tergeist continues: "I have a way with technology." Dilbert's computer crashes. The Boss appears and asks Dilbert: "Have you met your new lab partner?" Dilbert does not answer him, however, as he is staring with perplexity at his pen, which is suspended in mid-air before his eyes. Dilbert exclaims: "My pen is hovering!"