No Budget Comic Strips - Page 23

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303 Results for No Budget

View 221 - 230 results for no budget comic strips. Discover the best "No Budget" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags barry, epic mini series, hundreds of hours, quitters, retrospect, special bonus, staring at computer

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The Boss says to Alice, Wally and Dilbert, "It's my honor to present this special bonus check to Barry." Alice turns to the man next to her and says, "That's you." The man stares straight ahead as he replies, "MY name is Barry??" The Boss says, "This is for working hundreds of hours of overtime." The Boss continues, "While you quitters were going home by 9 pm every night . . ." The Boss continues, "Barry remained at work staring at his computer for hours." Barry eats the bonus check. The Boss continues, "It's important to recognize extra effort." The Boss continues, "Sadly, that's the end of the special bonus budget for the year." Barry burps. Wally says, "In retrospect, I shouldn't have told Barry that his screen saver is an epic miniseries." Dilbert and Alice glare at him.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags beg food, carpet, cubicle, dog collar, invisible boundary, mark boundary, mild shock, new guy, new hire, offcie, high tech device

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The Boss and Bruce walk by a cubicle. The Boss says, "We don't have a cubicle available for you yet, Bruce." The Boss says, "So I'm declaring this part of the carpet to be your office." The Boss says, "If someone goes to a meeting, you can sneak into his cubicle and use the phone." The Boss says, "Our computer budget is gone, but we have an old monitor that you can put on top of your briefcase." Bruce says, "Can I put tape on the carpet to mark my boundary?" The Boss says, "That won't be necessary, thanks to this hi-tech device." Bruce says, "A dog collar?" The Boss puts the collar around Bruce's neck. The Boss says, "It will give a mild shock if you cross your invisible boundary." Alice says, "The new guy hasn't left that spot for a week." Dilbert says, "Wally taught him to beg for food."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good news, budgets, calculations, salary bidget, vacation days, got greedy

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At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "Good news on your budgets. I did some recalculating last night." The Boss says, "I found a way to give more money to every project without increasing the total budget for projects!" Wally raises his hand and says, "Question: Does your new way involve poor math skills?" Wally has a question mark above his head. Alice puts her arm in front of him and says, "Ignore the skeptic. Hey, I have a suggestion!" Alice says, "Maybe you could recalculate the salary budget for next year." Dilbert says, "And when was the last time you recalculated the vacation days?" Wally, using his calculator wrist watch, says, "I calculate that we have an hour left for this meeting, but I'm interested in YOUR caculation." Dilbert, Wally and Alice walk out of the meeting counting stacks of money. Dilbert says, "I think we got greedy when we asked if he change for a five." They whistle as they leave.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget calculated, double check numbers, mentally adjust, huge mistake, upside down nine

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The boss stands behind Asok who is at his computer. The boss says, "Do you have the udget calculated yet, Asok?" Asok says, "I need to double-check the numbers." The boss says, "Give me a copy now. I'll mentally adjust for the possibilty the numbers are wrong." Asok says, "Am I making a huge mistake?" The boss says, "This six is probaly an upside-down nine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bare minimum, porject, half amount, fail, get started

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Dilbert hands the boss a piece of paper and says, "This is the bare minimum budget I need for my project." The boss says, "What could you do with half of this amount?" Dilbert says, "Fail." The boss says, "When can you start?" Dilbert says, "I think I just did."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags two more people, enough direct reports, vice president title, strategy

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The boss reads a memo and thinks, "If I eliminate the training budget, I can afford to hire two more people." The Boss smirks, and thinks, "Then I'll have enough direct reports to get a vice president title." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Shouldn't we have a strategy?" The Boss says, "I have one. Thanks for asking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cross charge time, attended meeting, drunken moneky, refund, money back, unfair preactices

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Dilbert says to a co-worker, "Why did you cross-charge your time to my budget?" The co-worker says, "I attended your meeting." Dilbert says to the co-worker, "All you did was sit there like a drunken monkey. I want a refund." The co-worker says, "Talk to my boss." Dilbert says to the woman who is his co-worker's boss, "... So it doesn't seem fair." The woman looks at her watch and says, "Ka-ching!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, therapy session, everyone is lying, stock market, congress, boss, therapy, scientifically proven, money, psychology, Politics

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Dilbert: It feel like everyone in the world is lying to me. Congress is lying about the budget. Stock analysts are lying about their recommendations, My boss is lying, This therapy stuff us scientifically proven to work, right? Therapist Its 100% effective.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags software expenses, marketing software expenses, monkeys, wear watches, boss asks, budget, costs, expenses

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The Boss sees Alice at her desk and asks, "Why are our software expenses higher than marketing's software expenses?" Alice replies, "For the same reason monkey's don't wear watches." Caption reads: "One hour later." The Boss returns and asks, "Does it involve fur in any way?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags elbonia, meeting, no limo servoce, cheapest way, brownies barrel service, business

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Dilbert is still in a barrel. The Boss says to him, "I'm sending you to Elbonia for a meeting, but we're on a tight budget." The Boss, also in a barrel, continues, "So there will be no limo service to the airport. Go there in the cheapest way possible." A bear rolls Dilbert in his barrel down the highway. The bear says, "And then I started Brownie's Barrel Service." Dilbert thinks, "He's a talker."