Nose Job Comic Strips - Page 23
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991 Results for Nose Job
View 221 - 230 results for nose job comic strips. Discover the best "Nose Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 12,
2005
Tags board meeting, outsourcing, ceo job, 26 million, elbonian ceo, good guy, consulting contract
Transcript
Board Meeting "I recommend outsourcing your CEO's job and saving the company $26 million per year." "For $4 per year you can hire an Elbonian CEO who is just as good as this guy." "Now do you understand why you should have renewed my consulting contract?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday November 22,
2005
Tags seminar, difficult cowrokers, groups, quit job, syndicated cartoonist
Transcript
Welcome to my seminar on dealing with difficult coworkers. "Difficult coworkers generally fall into one of these groups." LAZY MEAN SMART CRAZY "The only way to deal with them is to quit your job and become a syndicated cartoonist." "Thanks for coming."
Thursday November 24,
2005
Tags accused of stealing, computers, took the fifth, job interview, lied, stole
Transcript
Why did you leave your last job? "They accused me of stealing four computers." "Did they make you confess?" "I took the fifth."
Tuesday November 29,
2005
Tags two ceos, top job, syockholders, average employees slaary
Transcript
"After the merger, we'll have two CEOs sharing the top job." "A spokesperson explained 'If our stockholders don't mind paying one CEO 450 times the average employee's salary..." "...They shouldn't mind doing it twice.'"
Wednesday November 30,
2005
Tags after merger, job of ceo, old married couple
Transcript
"After the merger, we'll be sharing the job of CEO." "We get along great, just like an old married couple. Ha ha ha!" "He's the wife."
Thursday December 29,
2005
Tags employee of the month, award, don't know my job, never listen, boss
Transcript
"The employee of the month is Tina, for all of the um...various work that she does." "You have stripped this award of its meaning by showing that you don't even know what my job is." "It's as if you've never listened to anything I've ever said." "You're welcome!"
Thursday September 14,
2006
Transcript
Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."
Wednesday June 13,
2007
Tags passion for job, ceo's visit, meeting, condescending, rented mules, intimidate, corproartions, afford luxury items, ping pong table, no raise, offend, belitte, pay dosparity, slavery, business
Transcript
CEO Visit CEO: "It's important that you have a passion for your job." "For example, my passion involves working you like rented mules so I can afford to purchase luxury items." "I bought a ping-pong table with the raise you didn't get."
Saturday June 23,
2007
Tags depressed, corporate job, intern, unimportant tasks, feel nothing, stressed, ptsd, punch, numb out
Transcript
Asok: My job is an endless series of mind-numbingly unimportant tasks. "My central nervous system is starting to atrophy." The Boss: "I'm kind of busy." Asok: "Punch me in the head so I can feel something."
Tuesday July 10,
2007
Tags fired, job eliminated, outsourced, comapny, need job, hired, comes back, old job
Transcript
The Boss: "Ted, I'm going to eliminate your function and outsource it to the Dogbert Outsourcing Company." Ted: "I need a job." Dogbert: "You're hired." Ted: "I'M BA-A-ACK!"


