Or Death Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

232 Results for Or Death

View 221 - 230 results for or death comic strips. Discover the best "Or Death" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sociopath, #obliviousness, #tell-all

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There's a new tell-all book about our company. CEO: How bad is it? Dilbert: It's bad. Anonymous sources within the company say you're a "raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam." CEO: Put out a press release denying those lies! Dilbert: That's going to be tricky to write. CEO: Just say I deny being a sociopath with the mind of a clam. Also say I hope whoever said that about me dies a slow and terrible death. Is that clear? Dilbert: Yes, on many levels.

Value Of An Employee's Life

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Value Of An Employee's Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #ethics, #morals, #morality, #death, #damage, #value, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The proposed system would reduce accidental employee deaths by 20 percent. CEO: What is the ratio of the value of an employee's life compared to real people? Dilbert: I find your question disturbing. CEO: Just tell me the answer, halfling!

Dogbert Sells Life Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Sells Life Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #motivation, #meaning, #existentialism

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: How do I find meaning in my life? Dogbert: Nothing has meaning. The best you can do is postpone your own lonely and painful death. Asok: Are you saying I should take care of my health? Dogbert: What answer gets me the best review on Yelp?!

Reincarnation Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reincarnation Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #motivation, #reincarnation, #death, #fussiness, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert's Life Advice. Dogbert: I've reviewed your file. Your best bet is to live an unhealthy lifestyle, die young, and hope reincarnation is real. Man: Is it real? Dogbert: All I know for sure is that dead people are less fuss than you.

Death By Ninjas Is Best

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Death By Ninjas Is Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ninja, #hit man, #optimism, #frustration, #irony

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Why aren't you worried about the Elbonian ninjas who are reportedly coming here to kill you in your sleep? Dilbert: That's the best way to die. I won't care about anything after I'm gone, so this is the ideal scenario for me. Elbonian 1: He's ruining everything with his cheery attitude. Elbonian 2: Let's see how he likes another thirty years in a cubicle.

Wally Mentors To Death

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Mentors To Death - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asok, #Wally, #successful, #definition, #minimum, #alive, #employed, #comas, #ruling

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Have you ever mentored anyone who went on to be successful? Wally: Depends on your definition of success. Asok: Well, at minimum, they'd need to be alive and gainfully employed. Wally: What's your ruling on comas?

Ted Dies From Chair

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Dies From Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #the boss, #ted, #treadmill, #alice, #exercise ball, #kneeling chair, #ergonomics

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Ted got thrown from his treadmill desk, bounced off of alice's exercise ball chair, and broke his neck on a kneeling chair. The cause of death is listed as, "good ergonomics." On the plus side, his posture was excellent.

Diet Preferences

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Diet Preferences - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conference room, #office workers, #chitchat, #bore, #diet, #preferences

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking as walking into conference room: oh, no. i'm here too early. there will be chitchat. dilbert sitting empty conference room: someone is going to bore me to death talking about their diet preferences. ted: i only eat figs. dilbert thinking: kill me. kill me. kill me.

Ceo Has Pandemic Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Has Pandemic Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #video conference, #stock market, #money, #rich, #lost, #pandemic, #health, #underpay, #stategy

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo on video conference: i used to be rich, but i lost it all in the stock market crash during the pandemic. luckily, i can make up the difference by working you idiots to death while underpaying you. video chat: we thought you didn't have a strategy. ceo: i just don't like to talk about it.

Ceo Does Math

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Does Math - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death & dying, #diseases, #earth, #humans, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Why is everyone so panicked about coronavirus when maybe only 1% who get it will die? Catbert: One percent of the population of Earth would be...77 million dead. CEO: Yes, but the whole world won't get it. Catbert: They will if they listen to you.