Product Comic Strips - Page 23
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385 Results for Product
View 221 - 230 results for product comic strips. Discover the best "Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 04,
2002
Tags vendor, integrates, resources, optimize, performance, technology, integrated
Transcript
Headline: The Vendor That Couldn't Describe His Company's Product. A salesman says, "It integrates the resources..." The salesman continues, "To optimize the performance of technology." Dilbert asks, "Yeah, but what is it?" The salesman responds, "Hey, if you don't want your resources to be integrated, just say so."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday October 16,
2002
Tags eat lunch, few typos, launch prodcut, new prodcut, other thing, marketing, business
Transcript
Wally is sleeping on his keyboard. His computer makes noises, "Click Click Send." Headline: Marketing. An employee in the marketing department says to his coworker, "Someone named Wally is telling us to launch the new product." The employee continues, "Or it might say to eat lunch with a penguin. It has a few typos." The coworker replies, "I already ate, so let's do the other thing."
Saturday April 12,
2003
Tags orchestra od data, ironic spelling, geneous mistro
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally, and a coworker are meeting. The coworker holds up a sign and says, "We named the product 'Geneousmistro' because it conducts an orchestra of data." The coworker continues, "Can you believe the domain name 'Geneousmistro' wasn't already taken?" Dilbert asks, "Is the spelling meant to be ironic?" The coworker replies, "Why do you ask?"
Saturday May 31,
2003
Tags scale back, new brochure, diplomatic immunity, current, future felonies, poetic licence, motor oil, root beer
Transcript
The Boss and Dilbert are looking at the new product brochure. Dilbert says, "We might want to scale back some of the claims in our new brochure." The Boss asks, "Which ones?" Dilbert responds, "For example, where it says, 'provides diplomatic immunity against all current and future felonies.'" The Boss says, "That's just poetic license." Dilbert reads, "Turn used motor oil into root beer."
Thursday August 14,
2003
Tags billion dollar product line, designed and launched, meets expectations, high expectations, worng
Transcript
"Alice, this year you single-handedly designed and launched a billion dollar line of new products." "For that accomplishment, I give you the highly coveted 'meets expectations' designation!" "Alice, if having high expectations of you is wrong, then I don't want to be right."
Tuesday August 26,
2003
Tags million lines of code, irrelevent data, key your car, no choice
Transcript
The Boss: "Our new product has half a million lines of code!" "Translation: there's nothing good about this product, so you hope I'm impressed by irrelevant data." "Now available in ecru!" "You leave me no choice but to key your car on the way out."
Thursday December 04,
2003
Tags accidentally eat, apple core, care values, customer service, respect, stem is loyalty, teamwork, apple product
Transcript
The Boss: "This apple will remind us of our CORE values: respect, customer service, and teamwork." Dilbert: "The apple's core is the part you throw away." The Boss: "Not always. Sometimes I accidentally eat it." Dilbert: "Maybe the stem can represent our loyalty to the company."
Tuesday January 27,
2004
Tags deadly safety flaw, stock plunge, massive layoffs, ruined career, dead customers, hardest
Transcript
Asok: "Wally, I discovered a deadly safety flaw in our product. Who should I inform?" Wally: "No one. The stock would plunge and we'd have massive layoffs. Your career would be ruined." Asok: "But my negligence could cause the deaths of a dozen customers." Wally: "The first dozen is always the hardest."
Wednesday January 28,
2004
Tags products saftyproblem, murderer, killer, swallowed a squirrel, scone
Transcript
Ask: "Alice, if I fail to blow the whistle on our product's safety product, I will be like a murderer!" Alice: "No, technically you'd be more like a killer, you wuss." Asok: "My guts feel like I swallowed a squirrel." Alice: "You have totally sucked the flavor out of this scone."
Thursday February 05,
2004
Tags customers, buy prodcut, credibilty, buying services, dont talk
Transcript
"Dogberts Consults." Dogbert: "Never listen to your customers." "They were dumb enough to buy your product, so they have no credibility." "That reminds me: thanks for buying my services. Don't talk. Shhh." The boss: "Ooh."


