Reading Zero Comic Strips - Page 23

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238 Results for Reading Zero

View 221 - 230 results for reading zero comic strips. Discover the best "Reading Zero" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #alcoholic beverages, #executive retreat, #executives, #lower prices, #price war, #prices, #profit margin, #strategy

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Boss: Our new strategy is to lower our prices to increase sales. Dilbert: So our strategy is to start a price war and drive our profit margin to zero? Boss: It made sense at the executive retreat. Alice: Was alcohol involved?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #ignorance (knowledge), #competitors, #brain waves, #shielded helmet, #company secrets, #trash can

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Wally: Our competitors have technology for reading brain waves at a distance. This shielded helmet will prevent them from reading the company secrets in your mind. You owe me $20. Dilbert: The bet was that he has to wear the trash can for a week.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #executives, #networking, #key to success, #avoid contact, #with losers, #send off, #security

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Asok: I'm reading a book that says the key to success is networking with successful people. CEO: Did you get to the chapter where it says successful people should avoid all contact with losers? Asok: It seems we have a standoff. CEO: Security.

Dilbert Sent To Disable Elbonian Internet

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Dilbert Sent To Disable Elbonian Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #binary, #code, #coding, #developing countries, #frustration, #internet, #technology

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Dilbert: I have been sent to disable the Elbonian Internet as retaliation for hacking into our corporate network. Elbonian 1: Only our elites use the Internet. The rest of us don't care. Knock yourself out. Elbonian 2: Zero, zero, one, zero, one... Elbonian 3: I wish someone would just disable this thing.

Everyone Can Beat The Market Average

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Everyone Can Beat The Market Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #investor, #stock market, #stock reserch, #money

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Boss: Asok, you can beat market averages by doing your own stock research. Asok: So... you believe every investor can beat the average by reading the same information? Boss: Yes. Asok: Makes you wonder why more people don't do it. Boss: Just lazy, I guess.

Just A Guy In A Box

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Just A Guy In A Box - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #existentialism, #existence, #value, #work, #use, #useful, #change

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Dilbert: I like to think the work I'm doing here will change the world. Boss: Your project didn't get funded because Carol forgot to put a meeting on my calendar. Dilbert: There is, however, a non-zero chance that I"m just a guy sitting in a box.

Twitter Complaints

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Twitter Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #customer servie, #customer support, #trolling, #social media, #popularity, #technology

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Dilbert: We're getting a lot of product complaints on Twitter. Boss: Tell those trolls to shut up and leave us alone. Dilbert: Uh... okay. CEO: Why did our stock just drop to zero? Boss: Sounds like a seasonal thing.

Twitter The Video Game

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Twitter The Video Game - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #twitter, #social media, #game, #ignorance, #trick, #prank, #technology

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Dilbert: Our sales dropped to zero after you offended customers on Twitter. Did someone tell you Twitter was a video game? Narrator: One week ago. Boss: And how would I kill these trolls? Wally: With your words.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #workload, #stress, #counseling

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Dilbert: I have too much work, and it's stressing me out. Boss: I've been reading about this sort of situation. Try writing don all the things that make you feel grateful. Dilbert: That would be more work! Boss: For your anger issues, try keeping a journal of all the times you lose your temper. Dilbert: That would be more work! Has anyone ever taken your advice? Boss: Do you know the guy in Marketing with the eye patch? Dilbert: He followed your advice? Boss: Half of it.

Wally Gives Approval

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Wally Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #signature, #ignorance, #reading, #fine print

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Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on this. Wally: Do I have to read it? Dilbert: No. Wally: That's the sort of idea I can get behind.