Send Opinion Comic Strips - Page 23

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

265 Results for Send Opinion

View 221 - 230 results for send opinion comic strips. Discover the best "Send Opinion" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, networking, key to success, avoid contact, with losers, send off, security

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm reading a book that says the key to success is networking with successful people. CEO: Did you get to the chapter where it says successful people should avoid all contact with losers? Asok: It seems we have a standoff. CEO: Security.

Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceos, death, deception, split duites, boring meetings, publicity stunts, business scheme, 3people, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-CEOs. Dogbert: Let's split the duties this way... I will be the CEO who attends boring meetings, and you can be more of a Richard Branson type who does dangerous publicity stunts. Co-CEO: I love that idea. Dogbert: And then there was one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distraction, distractions, frustration, futility, meeting, meetings, stress, walk, walking, phone calls, email, Sports, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Let's have our meeting while we take a walk. Dilbert: Absolutely. Shall I expect the usual? Boss: The usual? Dilbert: The first five minutes will be nothing but you trying to find your phone. Then you'll need to return some calls "real quick," then send an email before we leave. On the way to the elevator we will be accosted by every employee you've been avoiding for a week. Then you'll invite one of them to walk with us, which means we can't talk about my project. But it doesn't matter because you'll be on your phone the entire walk anyway. Asok: Did you know that walking lowers stress? Dilbert: Does it?!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet, types of people, internet comment, Opinion, discussion, fame, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I'm Dick, from the Internet. I'm the guy who always says ridiculous, angry stuff. I misinterpret every comment you make as an absurd absolute and then I attack it like you are a moron. Dilbert: That doesn't sound fun. Dick: Wow. So you are saying everything in the world needs to be fun. Maybe you should do some research before you embarrass yourself like that again. Dilbert: Hey! You are the guy from the Internet! Dick: I'm sending you five links that are not as relevant as I think they are. Dilbert: You're famous!

How Alice Can Disagree

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Alice Can Disagree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Opinion, argument, disagreement, open-minded, dissenting opinion, sincerity

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Is there any way to disagree with your new strategy without making you angry? Boss: Blah blah I value all opinions. Blah blah open door policy. Blah blah dissenting opinions are good. Alice: None of that sounded sincere. Boss: Nailed it.

Ted Never Got The File

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Never Got The File - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, communication, responsibility, technology, guest artist, brenna thummler

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I never got the file you said you would send. Dilbert: I don't know what file type you want. Ted: Why didn't you ask? Dilbert: Why didn't you check your email and see that I did? Ted: Why didn't you text me to say you emailed me? Dilbert: Why don't you drive into a ravine?

Change To Bad Design

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Change To Bad Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags link, traffic, design, color, Opinion, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you make that link button blue instead of burnt orange? Dilbert: Yes, if you want people to click on it, and you thrive on bad design. Boss: I have an eye for design. Dilbert: And I have an elbow for music.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags expectations, unrealistic, project, group, laziness, prediction

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When do you expect to finish your project? Dilbert: Never. Boss: That's your plan? Dilbert: No, my plan is to be done in a week. You asked me what I expect. I base my expectations on the quality of people you assigned to my project without asking my opinion. The time-wasters outnumber the productive people on the team by three to one. Under that scenario, plus your total lack of leadership, the world will end before this project does. Boss: Then why is your plan to be done in a week? Dilbert: Because you don't like it when I tell the truth. Boss: Let's compromise on two weeks. Dilbert: Can we set those two weeks on auto-renew?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diet, dating, restaurant, relationships, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It took me six months to get a reservation here. I hear the food is amazing. Woman: It sounds fantastic. It's too bad I'm on a cucumber diet. I can only eat cucumbers after five o'clock. Dilbert: Well, it seems you have squandered my invitation to fine dining. Now my plan of sharing a culinary adventure is just a sad commentary on the casual rudeness of life. Can I expect you to complain about the quality of your cucumber and send it back? Waiter: We don't have cucumbers.

How The File Was Sent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How The File Was Sent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, technology, text, app, email

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's the URL for that site? Boss: I sent that to you last week. Dilbert: To which of my seven email addresses did you send it? Boss: Maybe I texted it to you. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this. Boss: Maybe I used Slack, or WhatsApp. Or I sent it to someone else.