Catbert Comic Strips - Page 24
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Character
655 Results for Catbert
View 231 - 240 results for Catbert comic strips. Discover the best "Catbert" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 30,
2003
Tags disloyal ingrate, evil dircetor, inform boss, internal job open, new policy
Transcript
CatBert: "Evil H.R. Director." "New policy: You must inform your boss before applying for an internal job opening." "PURRRRRRRRR." The Boss: "Well, good luck, you disloyal, back-stabbing ingrate."
Wednesday October 29,
2003
Tags evil dircetor, comapnay, free cholesterol screening, bacon and cheese hoagies, free hoagies
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil HR Director." "The company will provide free cholesterol screening on Tuesday." "At the same time, we're providing bacon and cheese hoagies across the hall. It's your choice." "I hate him, but I also love him."
Monday November 24,
2003
Tags evil director, cut costs, bottom of ocena, crushed by pressure, breathing issue, whiner, labeled a whiner
Transcript
"Catbert, evil H.R. director." "In order to cut costs, some of you will be relocated to the bottom of the ocean." "Wouldn't we be crushed by the pressure?" "Every job has some pressure." "And then there's the breathing issue." "I label you a whiner."
Saturday November 29,
2003
Tags antivirus software, secretly create viruses, detected by software, spooky, underhanded, sneaky, criminal
Transcript
The Boss: Our company is going to make antivirus software. What's that tell you? CatBert: It tells me we'll secretly create viruses that can be detected only by our software. Catbert: Am I close? The Boss: You're spooky.
Monday December 01,
2003
Tags evil director, merger, extra work, must be reason, tax thing
Transcript
Catbert, evil director human resources. The Boss: "We need to tell our employees about the merger." CatBert: "They'll read it in the news. Why should we do extra work?" The Boss: "Other companies do it. There must be a reason." Catbert: "Maybe it's a tax thing."
Saturday December 20,
2003
Tags human resources, evil director, severance package, spittle, laugh, purr, bad package, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of Human Resources. "What kind of severance package do I get?" "I can't decide if I should laugh or purr, but there's definitely spittle in your future." "This is a bad package." "PURRRR-HA-HA HA-PURRRRR-HA HA-PURRRR!!!"
Saturday February 14,
2004
Tags selling confidential data base, customer information, profitable, virtually untectable, highly unethical, modern times, facebook, commercial, branding
Transcript
The Boss: Did you ever think about selling our confidential data-base of customer information? It would be massively profitable while virtually undetectable, Catbert: But highly unethical. The boss: I don't know you any more. Catbert: Im yanking your chain . when do we start?
Saturday February 21,
2004
Tags make ted quit, aggressive replacement, share resources, job unbearable, pants, in same pants
Transcript
The boss: I hate Ted. How can I make him quit? Catbert: "That's easy." "Hire an aggressive replacement for Ted who will share his resources and make his job unbearable." Ted: "These are my pants." "Are you still here?"
Tuesday February 24,
2004
Tags take risks, employees afraid, train them, stitch goals, punishing for failure, raise morale, stopped complaints
Transcript
Catbert: "According to this report, our employees are afraid to take risks." The Boss: "We can train them to take risks by giving them stretch goals and punishing them for failing!" Catbert: "We did that to raise morale." The Boss: "It stopped all the complaining, didn't it?"
Saturday March 27,
2004
Tags evil director, human resources, been excessed, yoga move, rageful comments, hope for a hug, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources "Your position has been excessed, or as I prefer to say..." "I will tear the flesh from your bones!" "Phew! I love that yoga move." "There is like, no hope for a hug, right?"


