New Secretary Comic Strips - Page 24

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Secretary

View 231 - 240 results for new secretary comic strips. Discover the best "New Secretary" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #three bulls points, #summarize, #project, #invent words, #new words, #splrgy, #noobah, #pizkwat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert speaks at the podium. "I've been asked to summarize my project into three bullet points." Dilbert says, "I had to invent some new words." Pointing to these words (Splurby, Noobah, Pizkwat), Dilbert says "Believe me, you don't want to be any of these things."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #learn new technology, #sales person, #everything he knows, #moist towelettes, #sponge bath

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need to take a class to learn the new technology." The Boss replies, "Our vendor's sales person will teach you everything he knows." The sales person begins explaining to Dilbert, who sits taking notes. "You only need 'three moist towelettes' to give yourself a sponge bath."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertsisemnst, #fame, #new ceo, #recommend exploit, #hi tech industry

View Transcript

Transcript

Standing on a desk Dogbert says to the Boss, "Your new CEO is the most powerful woman in the hi-tech industry." Dogbert contiues, "I recommend exploiting her fame in your advertisements." Holding a bikini set attached to a hanger, the Boss replies "Why do I have to be the one to suggest it?" Dogbert answers, "CEOs love this sort of thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ad campiagn, #festured, #new ceo, #powerful woman, #indutry, #than lines

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits next to the Boss at a table. The Boss says, "My consultant thinks you should be featured in our ad campaign." An attractive woman sits behind a large desk and says, "Is that because I'm the new CEO and the most powerful woman in our industry?" The Boss answers, "Umm...yes. That's why." Dogbert turns and says, "Remember to ask about tan lines."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #edfred, #freak, #new hire, #new plan, #trust, #two faced employee, #two headed

View Transcript

Transcript

EDFRED: Hi, Im Edfred the two faced employee. If you tell your boss his new plan is stupid I'll back you up. Dilbert: Really? I don't like the looks of this.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #share knowledge, #new intranet, #collaboration software, #knowledge to share, #hurst, #true, #hoarding

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says to Dilbert and Wally, "Who wants to share knowlege with me via our new intranet collaboration software?" Dilbert says to Asok, "You don't have any knowledge to share." Asok replies, "Ouch. It hurts because it's true." Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm hoarding my knowledge in case I ever need it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loofah, #new company concierge, #personal, #any errand

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to his staff, "Ratbert is our new company concierge." Ratbert says, "I will perform any errand, no matter how personal or degrading it is." One employee says to Ratbert, "I need a loofah." Ratbert replies, "Lather me up!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technical certificate, #new power, #better job, #different comaony, #hired you

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee says to the Boss, "Ha Ha! You never should have let me get a technical certification." The employee continues to explain, "I used my new power to get a better job at a different company." The Boss replies, "Tell me again why I hired you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #judging people, #meet new guy, #training him, #giant amoeba

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: dilbert , meet the new guy. Dilbert: You hired a giant amoeba? The Boss: You can't go around judging people by their looks. The Boss: Would you mind... Dilbert: Training him? Boss: Keeping him moist?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #single cell organism, #new hire, #break room, #pretending

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: So, I hear you're a single cell organism. Whats up with that? Alice: The new guy is rolling into a ball and shedding water. Dilbert: Been there.