Test Plant Design Comic Strips - Page 24

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

355 Results for Test Plant Design

View 231 - 240 results for test plant design comic strips. Discover the best "Test Plant Design" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deepest budget cuts, #death spiral, #data driven focus

View Transcript

Transcript

"The leadership team can't decide where to make the deepest budget cuts." "But don't worry. I offered to bring a systematic, data-driven focus to the process." "A death spiral goes clockwise north of the equator." "Budget cuts" "Research" "Design" "Sales" "Mancom"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death & dying, #funerals, #ashes, #cremation, #scattered, #outer space, #elbonian general, #intercontinental missile, #burden on living

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: When I die, I want my ashes scattered in outer space. Dogbert: Cool! I'll bribe an Elbonian general to strap you to their intercontinental missile when we test it next week. Dilbert: It's better if the dying and the ash scattering are separate events. Dogbert: Don't be a burden on the living.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #topper versus alice, #secret government, #sleep deprived, #slept since febraury, #punch, #rip head, #vulgar

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper versus Alice "I didn't get much sleep last night." "That's nothing." "I'm part of a secret government test on sleep deprivation. I haven't slept since February." "I so want to punch you right now." "That's nothing. I'll rip off my own head and make me eat it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Having two computers is a violation of the company's 5S rules of standardized workspace. "I need two computers to test my software. There's no way to do my job with one." "I have a compromise solution. Put this little red tag on one of them and tell me later if anything bad happens."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I've been watching you for half an hour and you've done no work." "I'm waiting for my program to compile while I design the next module in my head." "Could you grimace so I know you're working?" "Here you go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I've decided to test my market value by doing some interviews. "Would you like some interview tips?" "Nah. I'll use my instincts." "You're an hour late!" "Your men's room is like a palace."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #center of excellence, #presidentail library, #honoring lifes work, #asking questions

View Transcript

Transcript

"I've been asked to design and build our center of excellence." "Which, as I understand it, is like a presidential library honoring my life's work." "In time, people learn to stop asking me questions."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourcing, #design, #communication, #miscommunication, #manufacturing, #obliviousness, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

We ship our new mp3 player in two days. How's the Elbonian factory coming along? "The prototype is the size of a small tractor and it will only play Elbonian polkas." "I'll budget a little extra for marketing." "It's made of asbestos."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #concerns about work, #teds work, #team building exercise, #test here, #sent asok

View Transcript

Transcript

"I listened to your concerns about Ted's work, so I tricked him into being left in the middle of the desert." "He thinks it's a team-building exercise. Hee hee!" "We wanted you to transfer him, not kill him." "Really? This is awkward." "And this is Ted. Where's Asok?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "What?" "You've been randomly selected for a drug test." "I have a shy bladder. I can't produce under pressure!!!" "Do it now or be fired." "Thanks for understanding." "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!"