Career Success Comic Strips - Page 24

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331 Results for Career Success

View 231 - 240 results for career success comic strips. Discover the best "Career Success" comics from Dilbert.com.

Financial Advisor Is Surprised At How Easy It Is

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Financial Advisor Is Surprised At How Easy It Is - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #financial advisor, #investing, #money, #stock market, #swindling, #convertible notes, #preferred stock, #call options, #career ambition, #ginat mosquito

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Financial Advisor. Advisor: Convertible notes... preferred stock... municipal bonds... covered call options. These are things you can never hope to understand. So trust me and try to forget that my only career ambition is to drain your account like a giant mosquito. Boss: That sounds reasonable. Advisor: I'm always surprised at how easy this is.

Carol Has Passion For Her Job

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Carol Has Passion For Her Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #boredom, #boring, #email, #fake passion, #forwarded email, #mindless, #passion, #success, #warren buffet, #work ethic

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Carol: Warren Buffett says my career will be better if I show passion for my job. I'll have to fake the passion because everything I do in this job is mindless and boring. Later. Carol: Woo-hoo! I forwarded an email!

Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes

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Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothing, #decision, #decision-making, #inventions, #success, #thinking, #tube clothes, #eliminate decisions, #mark zuckerberg, #gray t-short, #success secrets

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Dilbert: I call my invention "tube clothes." The idea is to eliminate as many daily decisions as possible, the way Mark Zuckerberg does with his gray t-shirt. I like to understand what makes people successful. Dogbert: And you narrowed it down to his shirt?

Success Is About Who You Know

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Success Is About Who You Know - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #blaming, #success, #who you know

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Wally: Success is all about who you know. I'm not successful, so apparently it doesn't help to know you. Dilbert: I"m sorry I let you down. Wally: It's as if you aren't even trying.

Fifty Tips For Success

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Fifty Tips For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #career advice, #obliviousness, #secret, #success, #tech millionaire

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Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.

How To Make Money While Adding No Value

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How To Make Money While Adding No Value - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceos, #mentor, #mentors, #mentoring, #protege, #success, #merit, #qualification, #luck money, #wages, #earning, #earn, #money, #salary

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CEO Mentors Wally. CEO: How would you like me to mentor you, underling? Wally: Can you teach me how to make $25 million per year while adding no value to the company? CEO: I don't know how to teach you that. Wally: Was it all luck or did you have to kill people?

Wally Is Not Hungry To Succeed

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Wally Is Not Hungry To Succeed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mentor, #mentoring, #protege, #wages, #executives, #ceos, #compensation, #work ethic, #success, #money

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CEO: I've been mentoring you for a week. Do you feel different? Wally: Yes. Spending time with you makes me feel underpaid. CEO: And that makes you hungry to succeed? Wally: I don't even see how those things are connected.

Wall The Company Taint

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Wall The Company Taint - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Promotion, #manager, #taint, #success

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Wally: You're looking at the new vice president of zombie projects. The projects that will neither succeed nor be canceled are transferred to me so the other VP's avoid their taint. Alice: I guess that makes you the company's taint. Wally: I wear that label proudly.

Wally Does Economic Babble Talk

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Wally Does Economic Babble Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bitcoins, #confusion, #conversation, #economics, #jargon, #success, #the fed

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Wally: Do you think The Fed should liquidate its Bitcoins or let the dollar float with Libor rates? Boss: Maybe we could just sit quietly until the others arrive. Wally: Success.

Embellishing Resumes

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Embellishing Resumes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #resume, #lying, #deception, #accomplishments, #management, #success

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Catbert: I discovered that one of your employees embellished on his resume. Boss: That's outrageous! Fire him for lying to me! Catbert: I'm talking about the version he updated today. It says he accomplished things while working for you. Boss: That doesn't sound right.