Coffee Reservoir Comic Strips - Page 24

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

335 Results for Coffee Reservoir

View 231 - 240 results for coffee reservoir comic strips. Discover the best "Coffee Reservoir" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #class, #personality, #communication skills, #shake hand, #coffee cup, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I signed you up for a class to try and get rid of that thing you have." Dilbert says, "What thing?" The Boss says, "The thing. You know. The thing that makes you the way you are." Dilbert says, "My personality?" The Boss says, "Exactly. But we call it communication skills because it sounds less rude."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #employee, #walk, #coffee cup, #applicant, #phone, #ring, #wake up, #brag

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Interview this applicant and tell me if he's right for our company." Wally says, "Tim, we don't set the bar as high as we used to."<BRWally says, "In our golden days, we insisted on employees who could work tirelessly through the night." Wally says, "As business slowed, we were happy with anyone who put in eight hours a day." Wally says, "then our best people left." Wally says, "Now on cubicles are mostly used for napping." Wally says, "So my question is this: Would a ringing phone wak you up?" Tim says, "Probably." Wally says, "He comes across as a braggart."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #work, #progress, #software, #annoyed, #grit teeth, #drink coffee, #inspiration, #machine, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, have you made any progress coding your module?" Wally says, "Progress is difficult to measure in the software realm." Wally says, "You could measure the lines of code I produce, but that would reward inefficiency." Wally says, "The art of this job is binding the rare moments of inspiration to knowledge and machines." Wally says, "In fact, just a minute ago I could feel the inspiration welling up inside me." Wally says, "But then you interrupted me with your naive question and the moment was lost." Wally says, "Maybe you should go back to your office and reflect on the damage you've done here today." Wally thinks, "There goes the one person who has less of a real job than I do."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entrepreneurial, #Advice, #drink coffee, #fail, #do nothing, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I'm taking your advice to be more entrepreneurial at my job." Wally says, "Failing 90% of the time is very similar to not trying at all. I'm pretty sure you won't be able to tell the difference." Wally says, "Which one am I doing now?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #get coffee, #answer question, #block exit, #stuck, #airvent, #game, #feet

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "Wally do you have a minute?" Wally says, "Nope I'm far too busy." Coworker says, "I'm blocking the only exit. You have no choice but to answer my question." Coworker says, "I blocked the air vent too." Wally says, "Well played."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #depression (mental state), #despair, #unfulfilled, #totally worthless, #coffee maker, #breakroom, #distract

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I am unfulfilled at my job. When does that feeling go away? Dilbert: Asok, you shouldn't think you're totally worthless. Asok: Um... I didn't say I was worthless. Dilbert: I'm trying to take your mind off of the other thing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #gadgets, #hardware, #robotic arms, #hold coffee cups, #industry changing products

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: One percent of engineers create all of the industry - changing products. I propose replacing the other 99% with robotic arms that hold coffee cups. You won't see any of the laggards in the 99% come up with great ideas like this one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #lobbying, #lobbiest, #bribers, #holiday, #birthdays, #lucrative job, #tax breaks, #company tax breaks, #interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your lobbyist said I could have a lucrative job here someday if I support tax breaks for your company. I have offers from other bribers, so I thought I'd stop by and see how this dump compares. Dilbert: Suddenly I know too much. Man: Fetch me some coffee and I'll make your birthday a holiday.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile travel, #automobiles (cars), #weather, #zero degrees, #icy roads, #coffee, #traffic, #guradrail, #3 hours late

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #golf, #video games, #pebble beach, #xbox, #full spectrum, #lamp, #fresh air, #house, #windows, #played golf, #coffee, #Sports, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-worker: I played golf at Pebble Beach over the weekend. Dilbert: I played that course on Xbox. Co-worker: That's totally different. Dilbert: I used a full spectrum lamp to simulate sunlight. Co-worker: I got fresh air! Dilbert: You should get a house that has windows. They're terrific.