Evil Comic Strips - Page 24
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283 Results for Evil
View 231 - 240 results for evil comic strips. Discover the best "Evil" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 26,
2010
Tags human resources, acid, vat, toxic fumes, standing on chair, scared, business
Transcript
CATBERT: EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES Catbert says, ?Ted, I'm transferring you to a job with a higher risk of industrial accidents.? Catbert says, ?Your job will involve reaching over a vat of acid while wearing no safety harness.? Ted says, ?Why do we have a vat of acid?? Catbert says, ?Because toxic fumes take forever.?
Friday March 05,
2010
Tags walk, outside, project, budget, executive cancel, wag tail, evil, cure, incompetence, back shot, stand on stump
Transcript
Dilbert says, "We realized our project can't work even if we execute it perfectly." Dilbert says, "Our boss' plan is to go over budget, attract attention, and hope an executive cancels our project for his own political reasons." Dogbert says, "Now do you agree that evil is the cure for incompetence?" Dilbert says, "Don't make me say it."
Tuesday March 30,
2010
Tags human resources, evil director, employee, morale, high, happy, overpaid, nature, yell, clouds, unhappy, hands clasped, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I'm getting reports that your morale is too high." Catbert says, "Happiness is nature's way of informing human resources that you're overpaid." Employee says, "Nature wants me to be unhappy?" Catbert says, "Don't blame me. Go yell at the clouds."
Wednesday March 31,
2010
Tags human resources, evil director, meeting, leadership, empty promises, imaginary, work, weekend, promoted, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Leadership is the art of trading imaginary things in the future?" Catbert says, "For real things today." Catbert says, "If you work all weekend, you might be promoted someday, if there's ever an opening... and no one else is more qualified."
Thursday May 06,
2010
Tags evil director of human resources, email, funny videos, angry, yell, mouth open, privacy, guess, hurts
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "100% of your email messages this month involved links to funny videos." Wally says, "The company is violating my right to privacy! This is an outrage!" Catbert says, "Actually, I was just guessing." Wally says, "It still hurts."
Friday May 07,
2010
Tags evil director of human resources, payroll expenses low, bad reviews, employees, defects, list, faults, alphabetical, business
Transcript
Catbert says, "We can keep our payroll expenses low by giving employees bad reviews." Catbert says, "Use this list of employee defects so you don't repeat yourself. It's less obvious this way." The Boss says, "Awkward, bumbling, cowardly, dumb?" Dilbert says, "My faults are suspiciously alphabetical."
Monday May 17,
2010
Tags mordac, preventer of information services, upgrade computer, vampire, evil smile, panic, caveman, complain, costumes
Transcript
Mordac the Preventer of Information Services Mordac says, "It's time for your operating system upgrade." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!" Dilbert says, "Please don't! My CMS software won't work with the new operating system. I'll be a technology have-not!" The Boss says, "It's never good when they wear costumes to complain." Dilbert says, "Ooga"
Saturday June 19,
2010
Tags dog, warranty plan, design, hell, hot, tongs, wide eyes, evil, insurance, animals
Transcript
The Boss says, "I hired a confusopoly consultant to help us design an extended warranty plan." Dogbert says, "Our goal is to scare people into buying insurance that doesn't cover anything." Dogbert says, "I can't tell you where the contract was designed, but be careful because it's still hot."
Saturday July 24,
2010
Tags Advice, death ray, invention, evil, coffee maker, disservice, success, garbage man
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My company wants to turn my invention into a death ray. How can I stop them from succeeding?" Garbage man says, "There is one natural force that can stop any form of success. It goes by the name?" Dilbert says, "Wally?" Wally says, "How may I be of disservice?"
Tuesday October 19,
2010
Tags evil, cat, director of human resources, sales bonus, raise target, boss, laugh, point, bend over, tail, annoyed, support, animals
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Ken says, "Every time I get near my sales bonus level, the pointy-haired boss raises the target!" Catbert says, "Ha ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! He just yanks it away! Ha ha ha!" Ken says, "I was hoping for some support." Catbert says, "Then buy a cane and talk to the tail! Ooogah!"


