Leave Of Absence Comic Strips - Page 24

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274 Results for Leave Of Absence

View 231 - 240 results for leave of absence comic strips. Discover the best "Leave Of Absence" comics from Dilbert.com.

Stress As A Wellness Issue

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Stress As A Wellness Issue - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loophole, #medicine, #health, #stress, #work, #medical leave, #work ethic, #laziness

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Boss: We have a problem. Our employee wellness site lists stress as a medical problem. And working here causes stress. Catbert: How many of them took paid medical leave? Boss: It's just you now. I'm packed.

Stress Typo On Website

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Stress Typo On Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #wellness, #corporate policy, #stress, #medical leave, #laziness, #loophole, #typo, #mistake, #work ethic

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CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.

Human Contact Through Social Media

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Human Contact Through Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loneliness, #antisocial, #people, #introvert, #social media, #communication, #isolation, #technology

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Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.

Why All The Women Leave

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Why All The Women Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Women, #technology, #quitting, #repulsion, #standards, #gender, #hiring, #sabotage

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Boss: Why do all of the women I hire quit within the first week? Wally: I'm guessing they have high standards, or something along those lines. Boss: They seem to quit soon after they meet you. Wally: Hypothesis confirmed.

Carol Leaves Kids

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Carol Leaves Kids - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #babysitter, #children, #supervision, #date night, #parents, #Family

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Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.

Entitled Employee Buys A Car

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Entitled Employee Buys A Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entitled, #entitlement, #millennials, #work ethic, #lazy, #consumerism

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The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.

Twitter Complaints

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Twitter Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer servie, #customer support, #trolling, #social media, #popularity, #technology

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Dilbert: We're getting a lot of product complaints on Twitter. Boss: Tell those trolls to shut up and leave us alone. Dilbert: Uh... okay. CEO: Why did our stock just drop to zero? Boss: Sounds like a seasonal thing.

Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood

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Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #scam, #gullible, #emotions, #deception

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CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #punctuality, #late, #excuses, #traffic, #sleep, #time management, #health

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Tina: Sorry I'm late. Traffic was terrible. Dilbert: Isn't the traffic from your house always terrible at this time of day? Tina: Exactly! That's why I'm late every day. Dilbert: Do you see any way you could fix that? Tina: I can't control the traffic. Dilbert: You could leave earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't get enough sleep. Dilbert; You could go to bed earlier. Tina: Then I wouldn't have time to watch Netflix until two in the morning. Do you want me to hate my life? Dilbert: I didn't until now.

Wally Asks About Bereavement Leave

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Wally Asks About Bereavement Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #bereavement, #deception, #time off

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Wally: Does the company offer bereavement leave? Boss: Yes. Wally: Good, because I have hundreds of cousins that don't 'take care of themselves. Cousin Ronnie just fell off a shed.