Monthly Plan Comic Strips - Page 24
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Topper vs. a Customer "I competed in the Iditarod, an 1,150-mile dogsled race lasting 15 days, over the world's toughest terrain." "That's nothing. I completed the race while pretending to be one of your dogs." "Now I don't want to buy from your company." "That's nothing. Now I plan to burn my company to the ground!"
I need you to delete all of our incriminating e-mails before the court sees them. "That plan is no good because I'd be a witness to the crime...unless you had me killed." "Phase Two is none of your concern." "It has a phase???"
"Management is pleased to announce that it has a plan to make your pension fun solvent." "In unrelated news, the guidelines for workplace safety have been relaxed." "Our CEO reminds you that smoking is cool."
Then I was visited by the Specter of Unpaid Overtime. He hit me with his rake because he's trying to become a grim reaper. "Hee hee!!" "I just realized that I only enjoy your stories when they involve you getting hit by a rake." "That only happened once." "I plan to tell the gardener that you insulted his wife."
Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "Does anyone need a napkin to write on?" "What are you thinking now? Could it be a business plan?" "TAKE MY MONEY!!! TAKE IT!!!" "He's nice."
CEO Visits "We bought our competitor and we plan to integrate their product line into ours." "Did anyone tell you that their products are worthless pieces of garbage? Maybe that's why they sold the company." "I mean congratulations."
"Dilbert, come up with a plan to integrate our product with the one we acquired through the merger." "Okay. My plan is to throw away the competitor's product because it's just a cheap knock-off of our product." "How about a plan that doesn't make our CEO look like a moron?" "He could stop wearing sleeveless sweaters."
Our CEO appreciates pushback. "The last thing he wants is a bunch of yes men." "Don't be afraid to stand your ground. He respects that." "My plan is to form business units around each product line." PLAN "Excuse me. We tried that once and it didn't work." "You're fired. Leave now." "Cruelty or convenience?" "I needed a cubicle to store my extra binders."