Violating Personal Space Comic Strips - Page 24
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277 Results for Violating Personal Space
View 231 - 240 results for violating personal space comic strips. Discover the best "Violating Personal Space" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 18,
2015
Tags arguing, job, job description, managers, manipulation, taking advantage, task, whiney quitter, resourceful entrepreneur, personal growth, outside the box, key to greatness, assigning wrong people, mow lawn, business
Transcript
Dilbert: That isn't in my job description. Boss: What?! You should never tell your boss that a task isn't in your job description! It makes you sound like a whiney quitter instead of a resourceful entrepreneur. And don't forget all the personal growth that comes from taking on new challenges. Think outside the box. That is the key to greatness. Dilbert: So, according to you, the best way to achieve greatness is by assigning the wrong people to tasks? Are there any other dumb things I need to do to achieve greatness or is one thing enough? Catbert: Did you find someone to mow your lawn yet? Boss: Almost. He's putting up a fight.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday August 16,
2015
Tags personality, type, introvert, dominant, submissive, interpersonal, relationship, coworkers, conflict, argument, competent, magic, psychology
Transcript
Coworker: The reason we keep having conflicts is because of our personality types. You're an impulsive, dominant personality and I am more of a... Alice: Useless waste of space? Coworker: I was going to say I'm a reserved, introspective, people-pleaser. One personality type is not better than the another. We just see things differently. Alice: How do you explain the fact that I have never had a conflict with anyone who is competent. Coworker: Give me a minute to reflect on that. Alice: Let me know when you're done believing in magic.
Tuesday September 15,
2015
Dilbert's Project Is Late
Tags raise, wages, money, salary, catch-22, anger, frustration, labor, review
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't finish your project on time. Dilbert: That's because you make me work on your personal project half of every day. Boss: You have to learn to say no. Dilbert: I've never wanted to kill you more than right now.
Friday October 16,
2015
Dilbert Aligns His Goals
Tags work, happiness, balance, job, contentment, goal, opposition, oppose, business, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm concerned that my personal goals do not align with our corporate strategy. For example, I would like to be happy. What does the company want? Boss: Well, nothing along those lines.
Tuesday January 26,
2016
Meetings Are Dense
Tags meetings, time, perception, joke, insult, stupid, obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.
Wednesday May 04,
2016
What The Boss Said
Tags secret, accusation, privacy, following, bathroom, restroom, personal space
Transcript
Ted: I think you know something about my project and your boss told you to keep quiet. Ha! You just confirmed it by avoiding eye contact! Dilbert: Maybe you could get your own stall? Ted: Why? What do you have to hide?
Saturday May 07,
2016
Entitled Employee Buys A Car
Tags entitled, entitlement, millennials, work ethic, lazy, consumerism
Transcript
The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.
Monday August 08,
2016
Boss Gets A Nickname
Tags scientist, nickname, obliviousness, stephen hawking, black holes, space, science
Transcript
Wally: Our new nickname for you is based on the work of Stephen Hawking. Hawking is one of the greatest scientific minds of our time. Boss: I like it! Dilbert: I need him to make a decision today. Carol: Toss it in the black hole.
Saturday August 13,
2016
Wally And The Lactation Room
Tags man cave, coffee, trick, lactation room
Transcript
Boss: Someone turned our lactation room into a personal man cave. Wally: That guy sounds awesome. Boss: The janitor found a recliner, a tv,and a coffee maker in there. So I asked myself who would put a coffee maker in a lactation room. Wally: I drink mine black.
Thursday September 29,
2016
Bribing Wally
Tags bribe, morals, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?