Wide Eyes Comic Strips - Page 24
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242 Results for Wide Eyes
View 231 - 240 results for wide eyes comic strips. Discover the best "Wide Eyes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 16,
2014
Tags #internet & world wide web, #movies, #clever video, #create video, #internet, #go viral, #marketing experts, #engineer, #more passion, #loser attitude, #viral video, #Entertainment, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: I want you to create a clever video about our product for the Internet. But make sure it goes viral or you're a total failure. Dilbert: No one can predict what goes viral. Marketing experts fail at this sort of thing 99% of the time. I'm an engineer with no relevant skills for this assignment. Boss: Maybe you could succeed if you had more passion. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I need a rational boss, not passion! Boss: That's sort of a loser attitude. Asok: Hey, my video is going viral!
Monday May 19,
2014
Tags #electronic mail, #internet & world wide web, #scams, #enter bank acct, #employee, #boss
Transcript
WHY phishing scams keep working enter your bank account number. Dilbert: Scam. WAIT FOR IT enter your bank account number Alice: Scam. There it is Boss: Okey-dokey.
Monday June 16,
2014
Tags #efficiency experts, #wide transformation, #compettetive, #solutions, #pay the most, #consultants, #recommendations
Transcript
Boss: Our consultant has recommended a company-wide transformation to make us more competitive. Dilbert: Is it a coincidence that consultants always recommend solutions that pay their firms the most? Boss: How would I know? Dogbert: I'll look into that for you.
Thursday July 03,
2014
Tags #friendship, #internet & world wide web, #facebook freinds, #speed bumps, #engineers, #pictures of food, #eat food, #google, #relationships
Transcript
Tina: Can I be your friend on Facebook? Dilbert: Friends are like speed bumps for engineers. Tina: How will you see pictures of my food? Dilbert: Do you eat food that Google doesn't know about?
Friday June 12,
2015
Wally's Slap App
Tags #app, #slap, #anger, #violence, #smart watch, #invention
Transcript
Wally: I created an app for our smart watch that makes the user's hand slap people. Boss: Who would want... Wally: Your eyes say I should pivot.
Sunday January 08,
2017
Tags #human, #human nature, #arguing, #argument, #social media, #logic, #critic, #troll, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: If we move this button to here, people are more likely to see it. Man: Ha ha! OMG. LOL. So you think every person in the universe is blind? I can't wait to tell everyone that Dilbert thinks people have no eyes. The pure craziness of what you are saying is mid-boggling. Do you have any scientific proof that moving that button would not cause a nuclear holocaust? Dilbert: Everything you just said is dumb and unproductive, and I hate every molecule in your useless body. What's wrong with people? Dogbert: I keep tell you, it's everything.
Sunday February 26,
2017
Tags #wages, #cost of living, #raise, #money, #rent, #apartment, #roommate, #space
Transcript
Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.
Saturday September 02,
2017
Alice Forgives
Tags #revenge, #forgiveness, #bygones, #anger, #vindictive
Transcript
Man: Alice, can you review this for technical accuracy? Alice: No, because six years ago you rolled your eyes when I said something at a meeting. Man: Can you forgive me? Alice: Yes. That process involves not helping you.
Friday November 16,
2018
Changing The Website
Tags #boss, #business, #internet & world wide web, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: We need to change one of the links on our website. Boss: Pull together a study team, do a focus group, get buy-in from all departments, and present it at the next division meeting. Dilbert: I changed it while you were yammering. Boss: Let us never speak of this again.
Wednesday November 28,
2018
Sending Email At Night
Tags #email, #employees, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm
Transcript
Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?