Wide Eyes Comic Strips - Page 24
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Character
247 Results for Wide Eyes
View 231 - 240 results for wide eyes comic strips. Discover the best "Wide Eyes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 16,
2014
Tags internet & world wide web, movies, clever video, create video, internet, go viral, marketing experts, engineer, more passion, loser attitude, viral video, Entertainment, technology, engineering
Transcript
Boss: I want you to create a clever video about our product for the Internet. But make sure it goes viral or you're a total failure. Dilbert: No one can predict what goes viral. Marketing experts fail at this sort of thing 99% of the time. I'm an engineer with no relevant skills for this assignment. Boss: Maybe you could succeed if you had more passion. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I need a rational boss, not passion! Boss: That's sort of a loser attitude. Asok: Hey, my video is going viral!
Monday May 19,
2014
Tags electronic mail, internet & world wide web, scams, enter bank acct, employee, boss
Transcript
WHY phishing scams keep working enter your bank account number. Dilbert: Scam. WAIT FOR IT enter your bank account number Alice: Scam. There it is Boss: Okey-dokey.
Monday June 16,
2014
Tags efficiency experts, wide transformation, compettetive, solutions, pay the most, consultants, recommendations
Transcript
Boss: Our consultant has recommended a company-wide transformation to make us more competitive. Dilbert: Is it a coincidence that consultants always recommend solutions that pay their firms the most? Boss: How would I know? Dogbert: I'll look into that for you.
Thursday July 03,
2014
Tags friendship, internet & world wide web, facebook freinds, speed bumps, engineers, pictures of food, eat food, google, relationships
Transcript
Tina: Can I be your friend on Facebook? Dilbert: Friends are like speed bumps for engineers. Tina: How will you see pictures of my food? Dilbert: Do you eat food that Google doesn't know about?
Friday June 12,
2015
Wally's Slap App
Sunday January 08,
2017
Tags human, human nature, arguing, argument, social media, logic, critic, troll, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: If we move this button to here, people are more likely to see it. Man: Ha ha! OMG. LOL. So you think every person in the universe is blind? I can't wait to tell everyone that Dilbert thinks people have no eyes. The pure craziness of what you are saying is mid-boggling. Do you have any scientific proof that moving that button would not cause a nuclear holocaust? Dilbert: Everything you just said is dumb and unproductive, and I hate every molecule in your useless body. What's wrong with people? Dogbert: I keep tell you, it's everything.
Sunday February 26,
2017
Tags wages, cost of living, raise, money, rent, apartment, roommate, space
Transcript
Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.
Saturday September 02,
2017
Alice Forgives
Tags revenge, forgiveness, bygones, anger, vindictive
Transcript
Man: Alice, can you review this for technical accuracy? Alice: No, because six years ago you rolled your eyes when I said something at a meeting. Man: Can you forgive me? Alice: Yes. That process involves not helping you.
Friday November 16,
2018
Changing The Website
Tags boss, business, internet & world wide web, managers & supervisors, sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: We need to change one of the links on our website. Boss: Pull together a study team, do a focus group, get buy-in from all departments, and present it at the next division meeting. Dilbert: I changed it while you were yammering. Boss: Let us never speak of this again.
Wednesday November 28,
2018
Sending Email At Night
Tags email, employees, office, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?

