Wrong Comic Strips - Page 24
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
347 Results for Wrong
View 231 - 240 results for wrong comic strips. Discover the best "Wrong" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 26,
2014
Tags anxiety, bad advice, projects, work load, freaking out, tackle, unpleasant tasks first, wrong order
Transcript
Dilbert: I have too many projects. I'm freaking out. Boss: Experts say you should tackle the most unpleasant tasks first, so you have a feeling of accomplishment and control. Dilbert: Now I have too many projects and some extra anxiety that I'm doing them in the wrong order. Boss: Off you go.
Monday October 06,
2014
Tags joking, laughter, medicine, neck pain, sleep, sound wise, slept wrong, employee, employer, health
Transcript
Boss: My neck is killing me. I must have slept wrong. Dilbert: Ha ha ha! You can't even sleep right! I'm doing you a favor because laughter is the best medicine. Hee hee! Boss: Why does that no longer sound wise?!!
Wednesday October 22,
2014
Tags deception, investor, investors, pick up lines, start up idea, funding, saturday night drinks, date
Transcript
Alice: An angel investor agreed to meet with me about my start-up idea. Dilbert: You need to be careful because he might be... Alice: We're meeting for drinks at his house on Saturday night. Dilbert: I'm socially inept and even I know that sounds wrong. Alice: He keeps texting to say he can't wait to fund me.
Thursday October 23,
2014
Tags blackmail, morality, morals, angel investor, pantless, drunk, photos, phone camera, million dollar seed investment, tie score
Transcript
Alice: I met with that angel investor at his house and he answered the door pantsless and drunk. So I snapped a few photos with my phone and secured a million-dollar seed investment. Was that wrong? Dilbert: Let's call it a tie.
Sunday November 30,
2014
Tags criticism, feedback, managers, managers & supervisors, performance, appreciate, feel valued, belittle, indirect, slow and isorganized, business
Transcript
Boss: Would you like some feedback on your performance? Dilbert: No. Boss: You're supposed to appreciate feedback because it makes you feel valued. Dilbert: How does listening to you belittle me about things you don't understand make me feel valued? Boss: Well, I don't know. It must be an indirect thing. Maybe we should just try it and see how it feels. Dilbert: Whatever. Boss: I don't actually watch you work, so I'm mostly guessing about the things you do wrong. I accuse you of being slow and disorganized! Is it working yet? Dilbert: Yes. If that makes you go away.
Sunday January 18,
2015
Tags arguing, job, job description, managers, manipulation, taking advantage, task, whiney quitter, resourceful entrepreneur, personal growth, outside the box, key to greatness, assigning wrong people, mow lawn, business
Transcript
Dilbert: That isn't in my job description. Boss: What?! You should never tell your boss that a task isn't in your job description! It makes you sound like a whiney quitter instead of a resourceful entrepreneur. And don't forget all the personal growth that comes from taking on new challenges. Think outside the box. That is the key to greatness. Dilbert: So, according to you, the best way to achieve greatness is by assigning the wrong people to tasks? Are there any other dumb things I need to do to achieve greatness or is one thing enough? Catbert: Did you find someone to mow your lawn yet? Boss: Almost. He's putting up a fight.
Friday January 23,
2015
13 Percent Employees Engaged
Tags employee, employees, engagement, motivation, global survey, engaged at work, business
Transcript
Boss: A global survey says only 13% of employees feel engaged at work. Dilbert: If you're wondering which one of your employees is engaged, it's this guy. Boss: We need ten more just like him. Dilbert: I think I just figured out what's wrong with the rest of us.
Monday March 02,
2015
Wally Wears Heels
Tags height, money, salary, short, tall, wages, clogs, four inch heels, income per year, lump sum, each heel inch
Transcript
Wally: You might have noticed that I'm wearing clogs with four-inch heels. Studies show that every inch of height is worth $1,000 in income per year. Can I have my $4,000 in a lump sum this year? Boss: I know there is something wrong with this...
Wednesday June 10,
2015
Doomed Smartwatch Project
Tags analogy, obliviousness, assignment, technology, invention, watch, failure
Transcript
Boss: You'll be in charge of our smart watch project. Dilbert: ...that is doomed from the start. Boss: Stop being such a pessimist. Dilbert: Said General Custer to his horse. Boss: Why would he talk to his horse? Dilbert: Because even the horse knew something was wrong!
Wednesday June 17,
2015
Alice Attracts Wrong Guys
Tags stalk, stalker, stalking, dating, drone, spying, spy, relationships
Transcript
Alice: I have a history of dating men who become stalkers. But I have a good feeling about this new guy. He shows no stalker tendencies at all. Dilbert: What's he do for a living? Alice: Aerial photography using drones.


