2003 Comic Strips - Page 24
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Character
Tuesday August 19,
2003
Tags huge galatians project, disqualified, one minute late, future depends on win bid, winning bid, future of company, can't be late, line dancing sign
Transcript
"After months of work, I finished our bid for the huge galatikus project." "I'll deliver it to them." "If it's on minute late, we'll be disqualified. The future of our company depends on us winning this bid." "He must think I'm a... Whoa, what's this?" "Irish line dancing lessons 10% off."
Wednesday August 20,
2003
Tags scolded by employee, boss late, dumb move, irish line dancing, mail document, late bid
Transcript
Dilbert: "And you failed at your primary objective of winning a bid for the galatikus job." "That's because you said you'd deliver the bid on time, but you got seduced by Irish line-dancing lessons and forgot to mail it!" The Boss: "I can't believe you're trying to pin the blame on the Irish."
Thursday August 21,
2003
Tags spam filter, sexy photos, tiffany sent email, boss, eyes pop
Transcript
Asok: Someone named Tiffany sent me e-mail. YAGAA WAGGA!! Alice: someone turned off the spam filter.
Friday August 22,
2003
Tags disappointing people, meeting start late, answer is misleading, deadline ignored, work is shoddy, empthy, blocking view of wall
Transcript
Dilbert: "Lately, every person I deal with seems to disappoint me." Dilbert: "Every meeting starts late, every answer is misleading, every deadline is ignored, and all work is shoddily done." DIlbert: "I guess what I'm saying is that today I need some empathy." Dogbert: "You are totally blocking my view of the wall."
Saturday August 23,
2003
Tags boss aprroaches, slices clicks comouter, filthy images, projecting himself, obvious, paranoid
Transcript
The Boss: "Alice, I notice that you always click something when I approach." The Boss: "Obviously you've been using company time to look at indescribably filthy images." Alice: "And why does that seem so obvious to you?" The Boss: "Let's leave me out of this."
Sunday August 24,
2003
Tags boss, touched by new hire, cry, hired, special skill, identifying good people, part instinct, favorite color
Transcript
Man: "When I'm not helping team members, I like to feed the poor or read to blind people." "I don't care about money. All I want is a chance to help humanity reach its fullest potential." The Boss: "You're so wonderful. It's making me cry! You're hired." Man: "Excellent." The Boss: "Come meet the team." "I have a special skill for identifying good people." "It's part instinct, part experience." "And yes, maybe just a little ESP." "Watch this." "Alice, your favorite color is...mitten?"
Monday August 25,
2003
Tags everyones opinion, Advice, best job, crazy ideas, mental, psychology
Transcript
The boss: "I'll get everyone's opinion, and then I'll make my decision." Alice: "Translation: you'll take the advice of whoever does the best job of trash-talking everyone else." The Boss: "Where do you get these crazy ideas?" Dilbert: "She's mental."
Tuesday August 26,
2003
Tags million lines of code, irrelevent data, key your car, no choice
Transcript
The Boss: "Our new product has half a million lines of code!" "Translation: there's nothing good about this product, so you hope I'm impressed by irrelevant data." "Now available in ecru!" "You leave me no choice but to key your car on the way out."
Wednesday August 27,
2003
Tags phd degrees, no common sense, interview, job interview, not good to say
Transcript
The Boss: "Wow! You have three masters degrees and a PHD!" "Yes, it's all very impressive, but interestingly, I have no common sense whatsoever." "That's not the sort of thing you should say during a job interview." "I don't see why not."
Thursday August 28,
2003
Tags ask them, feeling embarrassed, money, negotiating with vendors, phd, right thing, thinking of idea
Transcript
Man: I have a PHD, so obviously you should do what I say. Instead of negotiating with vendors, lets just tell them how much money we have and ask them yo do the right thing. You're probably feeling embarrassed for not thinking of the idea yourself. Alice: Must...not...shave...PHD.

