Asok Comic Strips - Page 24
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Character
963 Results for Asok
View 231 - 240 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 11,
2012
Tags lifesaving, office workers, interns, accident, organs harvested, to save intern
Transcript
Asok: I know it feels unimportant to be an intern to another intern, but if I ever get into a serious accident then... Coworker: I would step into your job? Asok: I was going to say your organs will be harvested to save me, but now you've made it awkward. Coworker: Sorry!
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday August 08,
2012
Tags cruelty, office workers, new intern, treated pooryly, perpetuate cycle, abuse, feisty, name
Transcript
Asok: This is my new intern. I haven't bothered to name him yet. I've been treated poorly as an intern, and I'm anxious to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. Man: I have a name! Carol: He's feisty. I like that.
Monday June 11,
2012
Tags blow on his neck, chat, flailing, headphones, noodle sized arms, discourage
Transcript
Dilbert: My headphones will cleverly discourage people from trying to chat with me. Asok: He has headphones. What do we do? Alice: Blow on his neck. Be careful. He might start flailing his noodle-sized arms in your direction.
Wednesday May 23,
2012
Tags dolls, dummy, treat customers, metaphor, stunned, employees shicked, boss demonstrates
Transcript
Boss: I'll use this dummy to demonstrate the way our company wants us to treat customers. Dilbert: We think it was meant as a metaphor, but there's no way to be sure.
Sunday May 13,
2012
Tags discussion, ideas, meeting, originality, irrational thinking, optoistic, new prodcuts, faking optomisim, fake buy in, business
Transcript
Dilbert: ... and that's my suggestion for our next product. Alice: How do we know that ten other companies aren't working on the same idea. Dilbert: Well, that's always a possibility. Wally: There are seven billion people on Earth. I'll bet a million of them had this idea. Asok: It's irrational to think that any new product is likely to be a hit. On the other hand, we only get paid if we pretend to be optimistic about new products. Wally: All in favor of faking our optimism, raise your hands. Dilbert: All I could get was a fake buy-in. Boss: That's the only kind there is.
Thursday April 12,
2012
Tags consolidating, marketing, illusion, golf, ceo, money, shared services, Sports, business
Transcript
Boss: We're consolidating our marketing into a shared services model. Asok: Why? Boss: Change creates the illusion that we have a strategy while giving our CEO an excuse to fire a VP who beat him at golf. And blah, blah, something about money. Asok: Must... not... cry... on the outside.
Monday March 12,
2012
Tags engineers, squirming, team players, thwart inaction
Transcript
Co-worker: Why are all the engineers in this meeting squirming when I talk? Did your boss order you to act like team players during this meeting and later thwart me by inaction? Answer me!
Friday January 27,
2012
Tags benefits of personhood, chemical nutrients, death & dying, inventions, petri dish, robot, scientific equipment, skin cells, sneezes, science
Transcript
Wally: Before I die, I plan to put some of my skin cells in a petri dish with chemical nutrients and store it inside a robot. By law, I will still be alive as long as any part of my body is functioning. My robot will enjoy the full benefits of personhood. My robot and I will live forever! Dilbert: Until it sneezes you out.
Saturday January 21,
2012
Tags dating, rich people, top 1%, Women, sisters, hot, attraction, co worker, relationships
Transcript
Wally: Now that I'm a top one-percenter, I wonder what kind of women I'll attract. Do you have any sisters back home? I'm asking because you'd be totally hot if you were a woman. So I'm thinking hoo-ah! Asok: I cannot count the number of ways this is wrong.
Sunday December 11,
2011
Tags meetings, office workers, focus areas, sense of humor, dumb enogh, misunderstood man, angry idiot, selling it
Transcript
Boss: These are our 25 focus areas for next year. Asok: Ha ha! Good one. Sometimes I think you have no sense of humor and then zing! What? Dilbert: I think it's real. Asok: It can't be real. No one would be dumb enough to think we can focus on 25 areas. Don't worry. I've got this. This misunderstood man is a brilliant comedian. He is only pretending to be an angry idiot. You're totally selling it.

