Wally Comic Strips - Page 24

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View 231 - 240 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.

Shred The Copies

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Shred The Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, Wally, copies, documents, coffee, shred

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The Boss: Company policy says we must shred all proprietary documents. But make copies first. Dilbert: Should we shred the copies too? The Boss: Do I have to do all the thinking around here?

Wally Enjoys Listening To Himself

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Wally Enjoys Listening To Himself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Wally, talking, coffee, boring, moment

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Wally: I recently realized how much I enjoy listening to myself talk. The alternative involves listening to people who are boring and wrong about everything. Dilbert: That's not... Wally: Shhh! Don't ruin a perfect moment.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Wally, goals, employees, accomplishing

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The Boss: Did you achieve your goals this quarter? Wally: I sure did! Best quarter ever! The Boss: Really? I wasn't expecting that. Wally: What kind of manager has no faith in his employees? You need to trust me to do what needs to be done. The Boss: Um, okay, so... Which goals did you accomplish? Wally: You also need to trust your employees when they say they accomplished their goals. The Boss: I think I see where this is going. Wally: I was hoping you wouldn't.

Coffee Machine Uses Guilt

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Coffee Machine Uses Guilt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, alice, Dilbert, coffee, coffee maker, automatic, invention, manipulation

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Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. Now it uses guilt to manipulate people into making a fresh pot if they take the last cup. Coffee Maker: You disgust me. Wally: I get that a lot.

Haircut On Company Times

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Haircut On Company Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hair, haircut, time, break

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Boss: Wally, do you have a minute? Wally: No. I have to get a haircut. Boss: You can't get a haircut on company time. Wally: I'm only cutting the hairs that grew on company time. Boss: How do you know which ones grew on company time? Wally: It's always hairs three and five.

Death By Ninjas Is Best

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Death By Ninjas Is Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ninja, hit man, optimism, frustration, irony

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Wally: Why aren't you worried about the Elbonian ninjas who are reportedly coming here to kill you in your sleep? Dilbert: That's the best way to die. I won't care about anything after I'm gone, so this is the ideal scenario for me. Elbonian 1: He's ruining everything with his cheery attitude. Elbonian 2: Let's see how he likes another thirty years in a cubicle.

Can't Remember Wally's Project

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Can't Remember Wally's Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags language, jargon, obliviousness, bluff, managers

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Boss: I can't remember what project you're working on. Wally: I'm integrating parallel platforms for load balancing across incremental networks. Boss: Keep doing that. I can never tell when I'm having a good day.

No Path To Victory

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No Path To Victory - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags catch-22, laziness, request

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Woman: Do you have a minute? Wally: Can I get back to you? Woman: If I say yes, I will never hear from you. But if I say no, I'll look like a pushy jerk. I don't see a path to victory here. Wally: Have you tried lowering your expectations?

Might Reorganize

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Might Reorganize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags responsibility, work ethic, reorganization, merger, laziness

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Wally: Are you still considering a reorganization of the department? Boss: Maybe. Wally: Oh, good. I was worried I might be held accountable for my lack of accomplishments. Boss: I might be playing this wrong. Wally: Hey, everyone! We're free!

Ai For Productivity

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Ai For Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, meeting, productivity, obliviousness, business

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Boss: We started using A.I. to identify when employees are unproductive. Device: Ping ping ping ping ping ping. Boss: Looks like this meeting is setting off some alarms.