Ceo Comic Strips - Page 24

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627 Results for Ceo

View 231 - 240 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, frustration, inventions, no sense, standard turing test, upset, company strategy

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Dilbert: My software can't pass a standard Turing test yet, but it does pass the pointy-haired boss test. Computer, I have a question about our company strategy. Computer: Try working smarter. Dilbert: That doesn't even make sense! CEO: I wasn't prepared to like it, but you won me over.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gadgets, wearable tech prodcuts, looking cool, feeling cool, hit clubs, early adopter problem

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Boss: We're having an early adopter problem with our wearable tech products. CEO: No one wants to go first? Boss: I wish we had that problem. Dilbert: I wonder if we look as cool as we feel. Wally: Let's hit the clubs and find out.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags studies, healthy exercise, healthier lifestyle, poor health, ruin meeting, attend stupid meetings

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CEO: Studies show that people who exercise are healthier. Wally: That's because people who are in poor health don't exercise. CEO: Why does it seem as if you ruin every meeting? Wally: Is it because I only attend the ones that are stupid?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, mathematics, work ethic, work time, donate, 1% work time, charitable cause, 110% to job, learn math, asking employess, business

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Boss: Our CEO has asked each of us to donate 1% of our work time to a charitable cause. Dilbert: Last week you told us to give 110% to our work. Does this mean we can back off to 109%? Boss: No, you should give 110% to everything you do. Dilbert: Maybe my charitable cause could be helping you learn math.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruelty, executives, work ethic, acting ceo, murder employees, start up, unprofitable, ridiculous jargon, wishful thinking, luck, show off, management fad

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CEO: I heard that while you were acting CEO you... murdered nine employees, bought an unprofitable start-up and embraced a new management fad that is nothing but ridiculous jargon and wishful thinking. No one likes a show-off. Boss: I swear it was just luck.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, acting ceo, back slapping, firing people, slaps off roof, abuse of power, sacrifice

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Acting CEO Boss: No one told me what I'm supposed to do in this job. Catbert: 80% of the job is back-slapping and firing people. Boss: Good job, Ted. But not good enough.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, temporary ceo, c level suite, employee realtions, boss, cubicle, insulting, receptionist, business

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Boss: The board named me temporary CEO. And guess who is coming with me to the C-level suite! Carol: It's me! Boss: No. And you're also a terrible guesser.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags acting ceo, rolex accident, power crazed, obliterated human decency, abuse of power, furry friend

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Catbert: The board wants you to be our acting CEO until our regular CEO recovers from his Rolex accident. Boss: Buwhahaha!!! The power has gone to my head and obliterated my last crumb of human decency! Catbert: You're creeping me out. Boss: I'm going to buff my shoes with you, my furry friend.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags injured ceo, rolex watches, steamer trunk, freak accident, helicopter, yacht, company ceo, time flys, having funds, intern, comments, company, employees, office gossip, business

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Boss: Our CEO was injured when a steamer trunk full of Rolex watches fell out of his luggage helicopter and landed on his yacht. Asok: They say time flies then you're having funds. Alice; Out intern is growing up so fast. Asok: The walk-off is what sells it!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bodily fluids, buggy, ceo reputation, competitors, death, medical, misleading ads, not selling, overriced, owls, pal costume, product failure, product name, super yacht, vaguely racist

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Boss: We need to figure out why our new product isn't selling well. Dilbert: It's buggy and overpriced. Wally: OUr competitors sell a far better product at half the price. Asok: Our ads are overtly misleading and vaguely racist. Alice: Our product name reminds people of bodily fluids and death. People hate us because our CEO has an endangered owl shooting range on his super yacht. Boss: Does anyone have an idea to fix all of that? Wally: Maybe. Do you own an owl costume?