Ignorance Problems Comic Strips - Page 24

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

282 Results for Ignorance Problems

View 231 - 240 results for ignorance problems comic strips. Discover the best "Ignorance Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #career, #important assignment, #folder, #office equipment, #problems at home

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Asok, "Asok, this will be the most important assignment in your entire career." The Boss continues, "You must affix the asset tages in this folder to our office equipment." Asok begins to whine outloud, shouting "Bwaa-wah-ah!!" The Boss thinks to himself, "He must be having problems at home."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #product is defective, #expect delivery, #quality s primary goal, #opposite of philosophy, #rich philosophers, #swiss bank

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells the Boss while handing him some documents: "My tests prove our product is defective." While the Boss is examining the documents, Dilbert says: "Customers expect delivery tomorrow." Handing the documents back to Dilbert, the Boss says: "Our corporate philosophy is 'Quality is our primary goal.'" Dilbert asks: "So... you want me to delay shipment until we fix the problems?" The Boss answers: "No." The Boss says: "I want you to ship now so we can book the revenue." Dilbert exclaims: "GAAA! That's the opposite of our corporate philosophy!!!" The Boss replies: "Now you know why there aren't any rich philosophers." Reclining on the couch at home with Dogbert, Dogbert tells Dilbert: "There used to be one, but he believed I was a Swiss bank."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Wally, #meeting, #does nothing, #angrily identify problems, #not job, #ambiguous, #taking forever, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, and others are in a meeting. Wally raises his hand and says, "Someone should take care of that problem!" Dilbert turns to Wally and says, "YOU should take care of it." Wally replies, "I can't do everything." Alice says, "You don't do anything." Asok adds, "Not a single thing." Wally says, "It's my job to angrily identify problems." The Boss, with his head in his hands, interjects, "Wally..." The Boss continues, "This is NOT your job!" Wally asks, "What?" Wally is up in arms as he says to the Boss, "Everything is so ambiguous here! Someone should take care of that problem!" Turning to Dilbert, Wally adds, "Is it just me, or is this meeting taking forever?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 1999's comic on:


Tags #take six months, #time line, #leadership, #made me unmotivated, #foreseen or unforseen, #wally is dysfunctional, #schedule is random, #looks mad

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points to a board that says, "Time Line." He says, "The project will take six months..." He continues, "Unless there are unforeseen problems." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." Dilbert says to the Boss, "Your leadership has made me unmotivated." Dilbert asks, "Is that considered foreseen or unforeseen?" Dilbert continues, pointing at Wally, "And Wally is dysfunctional on many levels." Wally agrees, "I really am." Dilbert asks, "Was that foreseen? Or are you saying the schedule is random?" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "He looks mad." Alice says, "I didn't see that coming."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #astrologer, #project plan, #correct deciosn, #ignorance, #clouded judegment

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, to Alice "My atrologer told me to approve your project plan as is." Alice says, "What?! That's the right decision. What's going on here?" Alice says, to Dilbert over the cubicle wall, "My theory is that his ignorance clouded his poor judgement."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #computer problems, #stupid software, #code rage, #throws computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice in her cubicle with frustrated look on her face shaking her computer says, "Stupid software! Won't compile, eh??" Asok the Intern walks past Alice's cubicle as she tosses the computer screen over her cubicle wall. Asok the Intern on floor. Policeman writes on notepad. Dilbert stares down at Asok the Intern. Policeman says to Dilbert, "We call it 'code rage.' I'm seeing a lot of it lately."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1998's comic on:


Tags #criticize coworkers, #look smart, #nuts, #dogbert therapist, #weekly sessions, #run out of money, #vure, #therapy, #paid by hour, #fasle memory, #aliens, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Ed lies in the therapy bed and tells Dogbert, " I criticize my co-workers to make myself look smart." Dogbert says, "Apparently it isn't working." Ed asks, "What do you mean by that?" Dogbert replies, "Nothing. Oooh. That reminds me to add nuts to my grocery list." Dogbert says, "I recommend that we have weekly sessions until you run out of money." Ed asks, "Can you cure me?" Dogbert replies, "No, I'm paid by the hour. I'll give you problems you've never even heard of." Dogbert says, "We have a few minutes today. Would you like a false memory?" Ed replies, "Maybe something with aliens?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #happy birthday alice, #gift, #charity money, #team spitit, #ash tray, #dont smoke, #ashtray as gift

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice and Dilbert sit at a table. Wally stands at the table. Wally says, "Happy Birthday Alice!" Dilbert gives Alice a gift. Wally says, "I was planning to get a gift..." Wally continues, "But then I thought...". Alice takes the gift from Dilbert. Wally says, "Why not give the money to a charity in Alice's name?" Alice asks, "Really? Which charity?" Wally says, "Ummm...'The United Society of Poor People with Major Health Problems'." Alice opens Dilbert's gift. Alice says, "...And Dilbert got me an ashtray even though I don't smoke." Dilbert says, "You don't?" Wally and Dilbert sit at the table. Alice's seat is empty. Alice has left her gift on the table. Wally says, "They say this sort of thing builds team spirit." Dilbert says, "It must be gradual."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 1997's comic on:


Tags #problems, #waiting it out, #standing motionless, #reorganization

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob says to Asok, "Most problems go away if you wait long enough, Asok." Asok sits next to his computer looking dejected. Bob says, "It might look like I'm standing motionless, but I'm actively waiting for our problems to go away." The Boss pokes his head in Asok's cubicle and says, "There's been a reorganization..." Bob says, "I don't know why this works, but it does." Asok smiles.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1997's comic on:


Tags #disturbing pattern, #soultions, #problems, #try last, #old rags, #due respect

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, I've noticed a distrubing pattern. Your solutions to problems are always the things you try last." Alice says, "With all due respect, are you using your skull to store old rags or what?" The Boss says to Alice as she leaves her office, "It's a good thing you said, 'With all due respect.'" Alice rols her eyes.