Problem Comic Strips - Page 24

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

401 Results for Problem

View 231 - 240 results for problem comic strips. Discover the best "Problem" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hard drive, too much smut, film clips, poor lighting, move to external, server, disabled firewall

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, my laptop is slowing down. Can you take a look at it?" "Here's the problem. There's too much smut on your hard drive." "I recommend deleting the film clips that have poor lighting." "And here's a whole category that you haven't looked at in weeks." "I'll move those to an external drive in case you need 'em later." "Wally has all this stuff on the server. You don't need it on your laptop." "What the...? You pinhead! You disabled your firewall!" "If you work here long enough, your outrage ends up in all of the wrong places." "Who moved my stapler?!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Why is your project months behind?" "I still don't have the user's requirements because she's a complete nut job." "It's your job to manage that process!" "I complained to her boss, who promptly misinterpreted the problem and ordered her to work on the wrong stuff." "Then every member of her family got a serious illness. Then she got called to jury duty." "She promised to give me the requirements this afternoon." "It was too hard to come up with my own requirements, so I just copied the requirements from another product." "Is the other product similar to what you want?" "Where are you going with this?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Phew! That was a nice four-mile walk. "Refreshing!" "Want to watch some TV?" "After I finish this call." Dogbert's Tech Support "Thanks for holding. There's nothing in the database about your kind of problem." @#$%!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Hello! Hello! "Let me see that. I'm an engineer." "Hmm...It might be a bad signal or maybe a bad phone. There's only one way to isolate the problem." "Go up on the roof and see if you have reception there." "Dang. Nothing." "Uh-oh. The door is locked. No other way to get down...No one can hear me yell and my phone doesn't work." "My only hope is to jump into that open garbage bin in the alley." "That'll teach him to keep his battery charged."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I need you to pick up Ted's function. "No problem. I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero." "Or are you asking me to do something that's logically impossible?" "I think I hate you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags discount religin, tithing 5%, sin is in, no time with joiners

View Transcript

Transcript

I decided to start a discount religion. "The tithing would only be 5% and I'd let people sin as much as they wanted." BOOK "The only problem is that I don't want to spend time with anyone who would join that sort of religion."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coding, moron, standardize new programming, methodology, middle of the project, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: How's the coding coming along? Dilbert: "No problem unless..." "...some moron tries to standardize on a new programming methodology in the middle of the project." The Boss: "What if it's me instead of some moron guy?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags forgetting things, hospital, odctors, exam room, monkeys brain, replace brain, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

"I keep forgetting where I put things." "The problem is that you're stupid." "I recommend replacing your brain with a monkey brain." "Will that help?" "No, I just hate monkeys."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags underperforming, ;i've volcano, problem solved, underperformed, pumiced, evil, yet amusing

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your CEO was underperforming, so I convinced him to bungee jump into a live volcano. Problem solved." "Well, he underperformed and he got punished." "Pumiced, actually." "Evil, yet amusing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rat problem, reporting, rat bait, unwashed, job satisfaction, calling names, being mean

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: We're having a problem with the rats in the office. " You might want to upgrade your level of hygiene from "rat bait" to "unwashed."" "I think I just felt my first tingle of job satisfaction."