Rich People Comic Strips - Page 24
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1000 Results for Rich People
View 231 - 240 results for rich people comic strips. Discover the best "Rich People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 18,
2015
Tags pessimism, people, experience, psychic, esp, sixth sense, learning, misanthrope
Transcript
Coworker: I'll give you the data tomorrow, Asok. Asok: Thanks, Brad! Urk! Suddenly, I know I will not get that data tomorrow. Dilbert: Why are you so freaked out? Asok: I... I... think I can see the future now. Somehow I know that Brad will not do what he says he will do. Dilbert: That's called "experience." It's the first step toward hating all people. Asok: How can I make it stop? Dilbert: I hear good things about death.
Saturday October 17,
2015
Selfish Team Player
Tags hypocrisy, team, semantics, flaw, personality disorder, success, selfish, business
Transcript
Asok: If being selfish is necessary for success, how can I claim to be a team player? Wally: I like to use a tool called hypocrisy. Asok: That is actually a character flaw. Wally: Oh. No wonder people are so prickly about it.
Monday October 12,
2015
Asok Asks How Much Is Luck
Tags nepotism, luck, success, obliviousness, rich people, privilege
Transcript
Asok: May I ask some questions about your journey to success? Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Asok: I am trying to ascertain what percentage of a person's success is pure luck. For example, who hired you for your first real job? Boss: My dad. But in my defense, I interview well.
Monday October 05,
2015
People Keep Stealing His Ideas
Tags criticism, honesty, insult, conversation, ideas
Transcript
Coworker: People keep stealing my ideas! Dilbert: Maybe that is an illusion caused by the fact that your ideas are both old and obvious. Were you hoping for a less honest reaction? Coworker: I kinda was.
Sunday October 04,
2015
Tags antisocial, conversation, uncomfortable, awkward, Women, technology, discussion
Transcript
Tina: It is hard to be a woman in this industry. Dilbert: I'll let you take this one. Wally: Got it. I'm short, bald, and nearsighted. I have no ambition, and I have all the sign of being a sociopath. I am unattractive and too old for the tech industry., I am shaped like a sad turnip and I do not make people laugh. Alice: What are you hens clucking about now? Tina: I can't begin to tell you how much I want to change the subject.
Monday September 28,
2015
Tags watch, technology, signal, symbol, time, punctual, fitbit, wearable tech, outdated, change
Transcript
Alice: I used to enjoy pointing to my watch and mocking people for being late. But it isn't as fun as it used to be. Dilbert: Is your step count low again?
Friday September 25,
2015
Ceo's Yacht
Tags hypocrisy, money, salary, wages, net worth, rich people, yacht, obliviousness, saving, cost
Transcript
CEO: We must learn to do more with less. Alice: You own a yacht that has an 18-hole golf course, and a landing strip for your jet, and its own zip code. CEO: I got a good deal on that. Alice: That's what the idiot that buys it form you will say, too.
Thursday September 24,
2015
Ceo Compensation
Tags money, worth, salary, wages, fairness, fair, pay, expenses, saving, rich people, executives
Transcript
Dilbert: I just saw your net worth on the Internet. What's this meeting about anyway? CEO: It's about keeping expenses down. Dilbert: More for you? CEO: That's not the spin I was going to put on it.
Sunday September 20,
2015
Tags managers & supervisors, credit, motivation, obliviousness, hiring, logic, business
Transcript
Boss: The secret to success is hiring the right people. Dilbert: Then why doesn't everyone do that? Boss: It takes a lot of skill to hire the right people. Dilbert: Did you just find a way to take all of the credit for the team's success? And did you do it in a clever way that was intended to make you look humble even while hogging all the credit? Boss: I also motivate you. Dilbert: You're money?


