Tech Support Dept Comic Strips - Page 24

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View 231 - 240 results for tech support dept comic strips. Discover the best "Tech Support Dept" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #minor edits, #product brochure, #causes hallucinations, #sterility, #positive spin, #greatest writing challenge, #same old sights, #great gift, #conscince, #three pager

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The Boss says to Tina the Tech Writer, "Tina, we need a few minor edits on our product brochure." Tina sits at her desk and thinks, "Minor? Uh-oh . . ." The Boss continues, "We've discovered that our product causes hallucinations and sterility." The Boss continues, "See if you can put a positive spin on that." Tina thinks, "This will be my greatest writing challenge yet." Tina types, "Are you tired of the same old sights? We've got you covered." Tina types, ". . . Makes a great gift for those people who - in your opinion - should not reproduce." Tina thinks, "Ooh . . . I feel a tiny pang of conscience. That's one." Dilbert asks, "So the brochure was only a three-panger?" Tina replies, "Yeah, and I think I faked the third one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #update objectives, #need targets, #hard work, #support management, #picture

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Alice sits at her desk. The Boss says, "It's time for me to update your objectives, Alice." The Boss continues, "We need targets that can only be achieved by amazingly hard work plus the constant support of management." The Boss says, "I'm busy, so you'll have to write them yourself." Alice asks, "What's wrong with this picture?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer up, #management support, #meeting, #boss ego, #master at work, #promised customer, #full management support, #sales meeting, #business

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need your full management support in this meeting with sales." The Boss replies, "Just watch the master at work." A man says to the Boss, "I promised a customer a product that we don't make. You need to engineer-up a thousand units by early next week." The Boss asks, "Is Thursday okay?" As they walk away, the Boss says to Dilbert, "Wait until he finds out that Thursday isn't 'early next week.' Hee hee!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #supreme ruler, #earth, #go outside, #runa round, #mouth open, #fresh air, #exercise, #hate flies, #health

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the grass. Dogbert says, "Someday when I become the supreme ruler of earth . . ." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a park bench. Dogbert continues, "I'll order everybody to go outside once a day and run around with their mouths open." Dilbert asks, "Because you support fresh air and exercise?" Dogbert replies, "Because I hate flies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blood suckers, #coworkers, #famous novelist, #lowly tech writer, #scathing email messages, #write a book, #write witty, #dogcart career counselor

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Tina the Tech Writer sits at a table with Dogbert. Tina says, "I'm a lowly technical writer now, but my goal is to become a famous novelist." Tina continues, "My plan is to write witty and scathing e-mail messages about co-workers until a publisher gives me an advance." Dogbert says, "They might expect you to write a book at some point." Tina yells, "Blood suckers!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dances, #dancing dogs, #go wild, #healed, #healthy, #invoice, #poems, #primal screams, #tech me, #total well being

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Dogbert, who is wearing a wizard's hat, stands on the desk in Alice's cubicle. Dogbert asks, "Have my poems and dances healed your soul yet, Alice? The company cares about your total well being." Alice says, "Excuse me." Alice leans over the cubicle wall and shouts at the Boss, "We want more MONEY, not more dancing dogs!!! M-O-N-E-Y!! The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "So you're saying those primal screams are healthy? Can you teach me to do it?" Dogbert says, "Here's my invoice - go wild."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #idiotic coworkers, #main accomplishment, #newsletter, #no raise, #performance review, #two percent raise, #uninteresting, #value of team work

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The caption says, "Performance Review." Tina the Tech Writer sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your main accomplishment was the department newsletter which was both uninteresting and unimportant. You get no raise." Tina looks shocked and says, "The newsletter was YOUR idea, and it's boring because most of the articles are contributed by my idiotic co-workers." The Boss says, "You don't seem to understand the value of teamwork." Tina replies, "I understand its value; it just cost me a two-percent raise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #write about newsletter, #grand tradition, #engineering, #lowest priority, #dont despise

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Tina the Tech Writer approaches Wally and says, "Wally, I'm hoping you'll agree to write about your project for the newsletter . . ." Tina continues, "And in the grand tradition of engineering, I expect you'll give this the lowest priority, thus making me despise you." Wally says lovingly, "So . . . are you saying you don't despise me NOW?" Tina screams, "We are NOT having a moment here!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dying from boredowm, #inetrview, #department newsletter, #background, #project is good, #engineer, #moms fallopian tubes, #engineering

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Tina the Tech Writer and Dilbert sit in Dilbert's cubicle. Tina says, "At the risk of dying from boredom, I must interview you for the department newsletter." Dilbert says, "Let me give you some background before I talk about my project . . ." Tina ignores Dilbert and writes, "'The project is good,' quipped the engineer." Dilbert continues, ". . . So there I am in my mom's Fallopian tube . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #department newsletter, #experienced tech writer, #intern, #rat, #respectively, #skills, #publisher taken

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Tina the Tech Writer, Asok the Intern and Ratbert sit at a conference table. Tina says, "Let's get one thing straight before we start writing the department newsletter . . ." Tina continues, "I'm an experienced technical writer. You are an intern and a rat, respectively. Therefore I will be the editor." Asok says, "I have no skills whatsoever. Therefore I'll be executive editor." Ratbert asks, "Is 'publisher' taken?"